Piggypimples: The Return of the Sea (SEAQUEL)
by PercyIsOurLord
Summary: As no one has done this before, I think I’ll start a new trend by writing about Percy going to Hogwarts. Wow! Original, I know. WARNING! THIS IS A SEQUEL TO ‘PERCY’s GOIN’ TO PIGGYPIMPLES’!
1. He’sBack

**Heyyyy...**

**WARNING! This is a sequel to 'Percy's Goin' to Piggypimples' so it you haven't read it...what are you doing with your life GO AND READ IT!!!!**

**Anyway, here's the first chapter of book two of the Piggypimples series.**

Harry Potter was a boy who had faced fear, danger and death, he had faced the darkest wizard in all wizarding history, and many considered him to be a legend, the embodiment of courage.

However, Harry Potter was unable to face his two best friends.

Well, mostly because he was angry at them, leaving him alone at the Dursley's, without communicating, although a tiny, rational part of his brain told him that it wasn't their fault: they had been ordered by Dumbledore not to tell Harry anything.

However, Harry was likely to forgive Ron very soon, but it would take a little longer for Hermione to achieve his forgiveness, given what had happened last year at Hogwarts.

**Lord Percy's flashback:**

_The moment Ron and Hermione entered the Great Hall, Harry rushed up to them._

_"It's Percy!" He cried, almost sobbing in happiness, "He's alive! I saw him!"_

_Ron, as expected, looked slightly happy, but mostly unsure of what to do, given that he didn't know Percy at all._

_Hermione, to Harry's surprise, however, instead of looking cheerful, looked sceptical._

_"Harry, are you sure?" She asked, "When did you see him?"_

_"Five o'clock this morning," Replied Harry, frowning._

_"And did you get any sleep before that?" She continued._

_"No..." Said Harry, getting a suspicion at what she was getting at._

_"Well, Harry, how can I say...you were tired, and filled with guilt about Percy's death~"_

_"Oh!" Yelled Harry, feeling indignant, "You think I'm deluded? You think I don't _know _what I saw?" A wave of anger suddenly hit him, "Do you want him to be dead?! Is that it Hermione!?"_

_Ron was looking at this scene with wide eyes, as were the other students nearby, knowing that he should not intefere._

_"No!" Cried Hermione, looking horrorstruck, "That's not it at all! It's just, you saw him get hit~"_

_"I'm going to get some sleep," Growled Harry, stalking past her, ignoring her pleas for him to come back._

_**Lord Percy's flashback over.**_

Harry scowled at the memory, he _knew _what he had seen, yet Hermione adamantly refused to believe him.

So Harry was sitting in his gloomy room at Grimauld Place, trying to do his holiday homework, whilst the others were cleaning downstairs.

Suddenly, he heard a loud _crack! _and felt something land on his desk, spilling in everywhere.

"Sorry about that," Said George Weasley, grinning madly.

His brother, Fred, flicked his wand, and then ink returned to the holder, no sign that it had been spilt at all.

"What're you doing here?" Asked Harry dejectedly.

"Well," started George, "As you're our brother's best mate,"

"We thought," continued Fred, "That you could do,"

"With some cheering up," finished George.

"Shouldn't you be cleaning?" Asked Harry, not feeling at all happier.

"There's an Order meeting going on," Said Fred ecstatically, and George held up some sort of flesh-coloured object, "Fancy listening in?"

**Lord Percy's very quick time skip.**

"We _need_ someone to be in Hogwarts to protect Harry, we can't have a repeat of last year," Came Mad-Eye Moody's voice, which, Fred, George, and Harry heard through the extendable ears, which were dangling right outside the door.

"Well, I doubt a mass murderer would make a good undercover agent, what about you Moony? You could become the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher again," Came the familiar voice of Sirius Black, Harry's godfather.

"Now that they know I'm a werewolf, I doubt they'd trust me following Harry Potter around," Came the dry voice of Remus Lupin, a friend of Harry's.

"No, no, no, what we _really _need," Came Moody's growl, "Is a student, someone capable enough to defend Potter, yet also befriend him, to avoid suspicion, unfortunately, all the students are too young and inexperienced to do that."

Suddenly, a deep, familiar voice, that Harry didn't think he'd ever hear again, piped up, "What about me?"

Harry stood stock still, along with Fred and George, too shocked to move, he assumed that the Order members felt the same way, as there wasn't a sound to be heard from the extendable ears.

Finally, Harry heard Dumbledore, sounding more surprised than Harry had ever heard him, splutter, "P-Perseus?"

"Albus, as I've said before, it's just Percy."

That, more than anything, snapped Harry out of his shock, and he barrelled down to the kitchen, flinging open the door, and ignoring the surprised cries from the Order members.

His eyes landed on a certain muscular, handsome boy, "Percy?" He asked, barely believing it was true.

The boy smiled, his eyes, as always, shining with mirth, and his face, as always, in a huge grin, "Hey Harry."

**And...done!**

**This chapter's song: Paint the Town Green, by The Script.**

**All bow/curtesy to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	2. UmmmHiAgain

**Heyyyy...again.**

**Thanks for coming to this next book, well done for finding it. **

**You have made Lord Percy pleased!**

"So," said Percy, flopping down onto a chair, and putting his feet up, making Mrs Weasley frown in dissaproval, however, she didn't say anything. Ron and Hermione must have told her of what he did for Harry.

"How can I help protect Harry and Hogwarts?"

Harry just stared, how was he so casual? He had just come back from the supposed dead, and he was acting like he'd just returned from getting a snack.

Dumbledore, apparently having recovered from the initial shock of Percy's return, said, "Why Percy, you can transfer to Hogwarts of course!"

Percy grinned, as well as Harry, who felt extremely happy, at the thought of Percy coming back to Hogwarts.

"Well," said Percy, his grin still on his face, though that far away look was still there, "Good thing I packed!" He held up a rucksack.

Harry raised his eyebrows, speaking for the first time, "_That's _all you've got?"

Percy shrugged, "I'm used to being a light packer."

"So, Percy dear," said Mrs Weasley, beaming at him, "You'll be staying in Harry and Ron's room, I guess."

Percy kept his grin on his face, looking like Mrs Weasley reminded him of someone, "Cool, lead the way Harry."

Harry smiled at him, and lead him up the stairs, to where Ron and Hermione were waiting in Harry and Ron's room.

When he opened the door, he saw Hermione looking out the window, and Ron facing the door, Ron said, "Hey Harry, wondering when you'd come~" he broke off when he saw who was behind him, and a jealous look came into his eyes."

"Who's _that_?" He asked.

At this Hermione turned around, and she gasped, "_Percy_?" She whispered, and at this Ron looked confused.

She ran at him and crushed him in a hug, and Ron started to glare at him.

"Hey Hermione," said Percy, grinning, as always.

He looked over her - easily as he was about a foot and a half taller than her - and saw Ron, ignoring his glare, said, "Hey, I'm Percy."

Harry gave Ron a meaningful look, trying to convey, _He's the Percy I told you about you idiot, be nice to him._

Ron apparently understood him, and he stopped glaring, and said, "The dead one?"

Percy chuckled, and said, "I am?" Though it was more of a question.

Ron grinned at this, knowing that Percy had saved Harry's life, and stuck out a hand, which Percy shook amiably.

Though Ron's question had now got Harry wondering, and he asked, "But how _did _you survive Percy."

Percy looked slightly cornered at this, and he said, "My family...is very powerful, so I can do some things other wizards can't."

Hermione frowned at this, "But blood status doesn't affect your magical skill, a pure blood family can have a squib child, and muggles can have wizard or witch child."

Percy, now looking like trapped prey, hastily changed the subject, "So, what did you guys get up to this summer?"

Although Harry was still suspicious, he trusted Percy enough to let it slide, "Well, Ron and Hermione were cooped up in here, but I was attacked by dementors."

Percy leapt up, "What?" He asked, looking frustrated.

Harry backed away a little, "Uh...yeah?"

Percy ran his hand through his hair, "This is gonna be harder than I thought."

**Sorry for not updating! And for having a disappointing chapter, but I didn't know how to end it dramatically without Percy bringing someone else to Hogwarts, and that's way too generic (and I, of course, am incredibly original).**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	3. PercyDoNotNeedPack

**Heyyyyy...again.**

Harry was confused, what was so complicated about it?

Everyone knew that Voldemort hated Harry, so it was really no reason why Percy was so stressed.

"Harry," Said Percy, as if reading Harry's thoughts, "Dementors are controlled by the ministry, so if you've been attacked by dementors, then that means that you have enemies on your team as well. And trust me, you need to be friends with your allies."

"But," Said Harry slowly, "What if the Dementors switched sides, and thought that they had a better deal siding with Voldemort?"

"It would be all over the _Daily Prophet _though," Said Hermione, "This would be something Fudge would have to accept."

Harry stared at her, "You mean, this isn't in the _Prophet_?"

Harry didn't know why this surprised him, he knew that Fudge would make sure that the _Prophet _didn't publish anything about Voldemort returning.

Ron intteruptrd, clearly thinking that Harry might have another one of his rages, "Well, how about we continue listening in on the Order meeting? It's the only way we know about what's going on."

Percy shrugged, "Or maybe I can just join them, and tell you about it."

"What?" Asked Harry, starting, "You're in the Order?"

Percy grinned, "I could be, I mean, I could ask Dumbledore if I could."

And with that, he strode out the room, like he'd gone to get a snack.

After a few minutes of sitting in awkward silence, which eventually made Hermione grab an old _Daily Prophet_, the Weasley twins came in looking shocked.

"Percy knows his stuff, man," Said Fred, at which George nodded enthusiastically at.

"What d'you mean?" Asked Harry, glad of the distraction.

"Well," started George.

"We just happened,"

"To be passing the kitchen,"

"And by a _complete_ accident,"

"Yes, a complete and utter chance,"

"We heard Percy's,"

"The not a git one's"

"Voice,"

"And he knows what he's talking about,"

"When it comes to strategy," they finished together.

"It's like having a Death Eater join us~" Harry cut them off with a glare.

"There's nothing suspicious about Percy," He said, feeling defensive, well, Percy _had_ saved his life.

Fred and George put their hands up in surrender in sync, "No, no, we're not suggesting anything," Said George.

"It's just like he's done this all before," Finished Fred.

Hermione frowned, "If he has, that's so sad, he's only eighteen."

Harry cast her a meaningful glance, and she had the grace to look ashamed.

Ron voiced Harry's implications, "Well, whatever he's done, it can't be more impressive than what _Harry's _done."

"Harry must have been through a lot," Came a deep voice from the doorway.

"Percy!" Cried Harry, turning, "Did you join the Order?"

"Yep," Said Percy, flopping down on his bed, "But they didn't have much to talk about, they just know that he's building an army, and trying to obtain a weapon, I haven't been told what it is yet, though."

"Anything else?" Asked Ron eagerly.

"Uhh...yeah, actually, there is," Said Percy, "We're trying to find out where Voldemort, "At this Ron, Fred, and George winced, and Harry was impressed, Percy was the only one, bar him and Dumbledore, that he had heard say the name, "Is right now. I suggested a mansion out in the country, quite far from wizards, but not too modest for _His Lordship_."

This just further impressed Harry, Percy was actually mocking the Dark Lord! Not even Dumbledorde did that.

"Well," Said Percy, clapping his hands, "Enough of that! What do I need to bring to PigRash or whatever?"

Fred and George sniggered, but Hermione frowned disapprovingly.

Harry smiled, "Well, you'll need to go to Diagon Alley to get your things, but~"

Hermione suddenly interrupted Harry, and began rattling off all the things Percy would need for Hogwarts.

Percy, instead of writing it down like Harry expected, walked slowly over to the window, and knelt, his lips moving as if in prayer.

Suddenly, in a crash of thunder, on a sunny day, and a golden glow of light, Percy's Hogwarts things appeared on his bed.

Percy stood up, and looked at the other people in the room.

He snapped his fingers, and a wave of bliss and pleasure fell into Harry, "You didn't see that," Said Percy.

Harry shook his head, the blissful feeling was gone, what was he thinking of again? Something about Percy...

Harry looked suspiciously at the boy (who looked remarkably like him, Harry just noticed) that feeling felt an awful lot like the Imperious Curse...

Harry shook off his suspicions, Percy had saved his life. Isn't that enough to make Harry trust him?

But Snape had saved Harry's life to.

Harry shook his head, and stumbled down stairs, following Mrs Weasleys sudden calls of dinner.

**And..done!**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	4. TheSortingHat

** Heyyyy...again.**

Harry gazed around the familiar sights of the Great Hall, delighted to have returned to Hogwarts, in spite of. Voldemort's return.

Just like last year, Harry expected the mood to be somber, given Voldemort's return, was again surprised by the amiable mood, it was like nobody knew he had returned.

He could see many students impatiently looking at the huge doors, eager to have the Sorting over with, and start on the feast.

At last, the doors of the Great Hall flew open, and, to Harry's surprise, it was Professor Grubly-Plank leading the First Years, almost all of them looked terrified, gazing around the Great Hall with wide, Knox net eyes.

Harry smiled bitterly, he remembered his First Year.

Such a simple time.

**Lord Percy's private royal time skip.**

Harry reluctantly the newest addition to Slytherin, a girl named Eleanor Zimmer, when Dumbledore stood up, the students looked up at him eagerly, expecting him to give his usual couple of lines, then they could eat.

This time, however, Dumbledore gazed around the school, his eyes twinkling, though less so than usual.

Finally, he opened his mouth, and his deep, powerful voice filled the Hall.

"I know that you must be impatient to start eating, but bear with me for a few moments," The students looked around, startled, Dumbledore was rarely this serious, "As I'm sure you know, if you keep up with the _Daily Prophet_, that my allegation of Voldemort returning has been accused of being false.

"I can assure you all, that I am telling the truth, and, as the Sorting Hat said **(it said in one of the HP books) **we must unite.

"Now," He said, his eyes now twinkling with as much enthusiasm as usual, "I have some much more pleasant news, we have a transfer student!"

The Great Hall was silent, only Harry, Ron, and Hermione knew what was happening, and they exchanged smirks.

In all of Hogwarts history, there had never been a transfer student.

So the shocked silence of the students was understandable.

The teachers, however, were unaffected, but of course, they were all in the Order, so they already knew.

Dumbldore just stood there, apparently unaffected by the intense stares that were now coming his way.

"I'm sure that you all know him," He said, his eyes twinkling. This only made the tension rise.

_Aside from the First Years _thought Harry.

"His name is Perseus Jackson!" Cried Dumbledore.

The Great Hall suddenly exploded in cheers, and Harry saw the doors fly open, and Percy stride up, apparently surprised at this enthusiastic greeting.

He reached the rickety old stool, and sat down on it.

There were a few titters, mostly from the boys, as the stool was ridiculously small compared to Percy's large, muscular figure.

Professor McGonagoll was about to move towards him to place the hat on his face, but the hat suddenly cried out

"GRYFFINDOR!"

There was silence, shock was clearly on the faces of everyone, even the staff - apart from Dumbledore.

No one had been sorted that quickly, and, if Harry was not mistaken, there was a hint of sympathy, and was that...fear? in the Sorting Hat's voice.

Percy just sat on the stool, looking confused and bewildered, until Dumbledore slowly began to clap, and the Gryffindor table suddenly erupted into cheers, whilst jealous looks were thrown at them.

It seemed that everyone wanted Percy, seeing as he was so powerful, charming, and, according to the girls - who either looked devastated, or delighted at the moment - _very _good looking.

Percy flopped into a space that Harry had just made for him, still looking a bit confused, but delighted at the sudden appearance of food, grabbed some hamburgers - the house elves must have heard about Percy coming - and Harry, almost forgetting about Voldemort, and feeling immensely content, followed suit.

**And done!**

**Does anyone watch Fudgy's (he's a YouTuber) Unturned Life episodes? I've only watched episodes 501-511, but I love them.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	5. McGonagallUmbridgeAndStuff

**Hey...again.**

**Ugh, Fanfiction just crashed, so I lost the content I made for this chapter.**

**UUUURRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**I own nothing (apart from what I do)**

Harry scowled at his book, glaring at its patronising title, _A Beginners Guide to Defence._

The class had barely started, and Harry knew that the teacher was an absolute b-

"Now now, boys and girls, please turn to page one, chapter one, and read until the end of the lesson, there will be no need to talk," Said the subject of Harry's anger, Professor Umbit-

"Yes dear?" Asked the dreaded teacher in her sickly sweet tone, looking at Hermione's hand with distain.

"I was just wondering," Said Hermione, in an equally dangerously sweet voice, "Will we be learning to defend ourselves?"

Umbridge let out a tinkly little laugh, and said, "_Defend _yourselves? Why, who would want to hurt mere children?"

"Maybe, I dunno, Lord Voldemort?" The words we're out of Harry's mouth before he could stop them.

Every head turned towards him, Hermione looked frightened, Ron looked apprehensive, Umbridge looked furious, and Percy (due to him 'being behind' in bis classes, he was with Harry) looked pleased, and slightly proud.

"Mr Potter," Said Umbridge slowly, all pretences of sweetness had gone from her voice, and she sounded downright dangerous. Or at least as dangerous as a five foot pudgy woman dressed in all pink with pictures of kittens behind her could look.

"I think you are mistaken, you seem to believe that...He, has returned."

"He _has_! I saw him!" Yelled Harry, but even he heard his voice crack.

"Well, does anyone else believe Mr Potter in his ludicrous claims that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?" Asked Umbridge, looking around in a mocking manner.

"I do," Came a voice from the back, "And so does Albus - I mean, Professor Dumbledore."

"Mr Jackson," Said Umbridge, looking like she was trying her hardest to appear patient, "I understand that you are new to Hogwarts, but you must understand that~"

"Oh, I already understand that the rest of the teachers aren't absolute b~"

"Mr Jackson!" Roared Umbridge, "Go to your Head of House! Same goes to you, Mr Potter."

Harry and Percy left their chairs, Harry fuming, and Percy returning Ron, Seamus, and Dean's grins.

Harry stalked off to McGonagall's office, Percy ambling behind him.

Harry knocked on Professor McGonagall's door with more force than he normally would, and the Transfoguration teacher opened the door at once.

"Why, it's like the Weasley twins all over again."

"What do you mean, Professor?" Asked Harry, trying to keep his voice steady, still raging about Umbridge.

"Has anyone ever told you, that you two look remarkably similar? You could be brothers."

Harry, surprised, looked at Percy, and realised that they shared the same messy dark hair, though Percy's was more windswept, and green eyes, though Percy's were more of a sea-green.

Added with Percy's tanned skin and muscular figure, Percy was basically a better looking Harry.

"Well, come on in," Said McGonagall stepping away from the door to give them space to enter.

Once they sat down, McGonagall said, "Now, what have you both been sent here for?"

"Professor Umbridge," Said Harry, "I told her that Voldemort was back, and she sent me here."

"And you?" Asked McGonagall, looking at Percy.

"Well, I kinda called Umbridge a bi~"

"Alright thank you Jackson," Said McGonagall, interrupting him.

She sat there, thinking for a while, with Harry and Percy sitting in a - for Harry - awkward silence.

Finally, she leant in near to them, lowering her voice, like they were being overheard, "You two need to be careful," She sounded almost...scared, though when she continued speaking, she directed her words at Percy, and sounded like he usual strict self, "The Ministry are eager to have you...silenced. You would be scaring the wizarding population if they knew that Voldemort was back."

Harry felt angry, "So the Ministry is just hiding from the truth, is it?" Percy remained silent, he looked like he was thinking, or maybe daydreaming.

"I am not saying you have to like it, I certainly don't, but you _must _keep a low profile, don't anger any ministry officials. But don't worry, I'm sure that Perseus will be enough to protect you from anything."

"Sorry, what?" Asked Percy, snapping out of his daydream.

**Sorry if you don't like it!**

**Recommeded song: Hallelujah, by P!ATD**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	6. DAandDreams

**Heyyy...again.**

**I own everything!**

**MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!**

**:)**

Harry scowled, his hand submerged in the bowl of essence of murlap, and looked jealously at Percy, who seemed fine, despite the words _I shall not insult my superiors._

At least, that is what he was _supposed _to write, instead, he wrote, _I must call the teacher something other than a -_

"So Harry," Said Hermione, tentatively, looking at Harry's angered face cautiously, "Ron and I~" Ron scowled at her, "Alright, I had the idea that, well, if you agree, of course, that we should, well, have our own classes for Defense Against the Dark Arts, but only if you want to," She said quickly, correctly interpreting the look on his face.

He felt rage coursing through his veins, she thought that their should be a group? A little _club_?

Harry quickly made sure to wipe his face blank, and then he asked, trying to keep his voice steady, and not let his reluctance and rage show, "Who would teach?" Though he already knew the answer.

"You, of course, Harry," She replied, a slight tremor in her voice.

Harry scowled, "You think that fighting is just listing off a bunch of spells, you think that if you pass your exams that you can fight the dark arts? No, when you face them, when you face _Him_, your mind goes blank, you might as well be a first year. All of your training goes out the window, and you do whatever you can to just survive, you don't try to end evil, when you face it, you just try to save you own skin. Nothing, Hermione, Nothing can prepare you for going up against the dark arts," He finished his rant with a whisper.

"Really?" Asked Percy, entering the conversation for the first time, "That's never happened to me, then again, I always just swing my - I mean, wave my wand at whatever comes at me."

Harry glared at him, and Percy put up his hands, "Jeez, fine, not the time."

"Oh, Harry," Said Hermione, looking remorseful, "This is why we need you! You're the only one who knows what it is like to face Him, we need to know what it's like Harry."

"I think that it's a great idea," Said Percy, "But then again, all my friends have nicknames that mean I'm an idiot, so maybe don't listen to me."

Although Percy was being extremely unhelpful, Harry did value his opinion, more than Ron's, at least, who said, "I think it's up to Harry."

"Fine," Harry seethed, "Let's have a try at it then."

Hermione looked relieved, and said, "Why don't we try going next to the Shrieking Shack next Hogmeades" At this Percy snorted and muttered 'Pigbeer' to himself, which Hermione ignored, "Visit."

"Okay," Said Harry reluctantly, and then he said, "I'm going to bed."

Percy leapt up to follow him, not before wishing the others goodnight.

Although Harry appreciated having someone with power equal or above Dumbledore's protecting him, he was also annoyed at the thought that he needed protection.

At least it wasn't a couple of aurors (**Spelling?**)

Harry's dreams were far from relaxing.

He was in that long corridor again, and he was gliding towards the dark door at the end, his excitement mounting as he drew nearer.

The tips of Harry's long, thin, and paper-white fingers had just brushed the doorknob, when the scene changed, and Harry saw Percy, his face gaunt, scrapped, and bloody, yet still maintaining his handsome features, clutching on to a tiny ledge with one hand, and using the other to keep a grip on a blond girl below him, who Harry recognised as Percy's girlfriend. Her face was twisted in intense pain.

Above them, there was a skinny, pale boy no older than fourteen, looking down at the two desperately, thrusting his hand out, despite being fifteen feet above.

Below them, however, was a deep, wide chasm, that Harry knew he didn't want to fall into. Even in his rapidly fading dream state, he could smell the evil emitting from it.

"The other side Nico!" Cried Percy, "Promise me!"

'Nico' withdrew his hand, and said, with obvious doubt, "I-I will."

Percy looked down at his girlfriend, "We're staying together, you're not getting away from me. Never again."

The girl choked out, "As long as we're together."

Percy let go of the ledge, and he hand the girl, in tight embrace, plunged into the thick, evil darkness.

As he felt himself wake, Harry was sure that the dream was all it was - a dream. Something his imagination had thought up in his sleeping state.

There was no way Percy had really fallen in there, he would never survive! Not even a cushioning charm would work if that chasm was as deep as it looked!

Harry awoke fully to the sounds of Percy's intense muttering, oviously having a nightmare.

Harry looked out the window, and saw that it was still dark. It must have been around five o'clock.

Scowling to himself at being awoken this early, he turned over, and drifted back into a blissful sleep.

However, just as he was about to slip into the world of dreams, he heard Percy mutter, "Never again."

**Well that was a little sappy!**

**Ew.**

**I recommend the song Weak, by AJR.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out. **


	7. YoyoAFillerChappie

** Heyyy...again.**

**I have no idea of the main plot for this book, I'm just making up chapters in the moment.**

**Although I do have an idea for something in like the last or second last book.**

Harry Potter liked to say that he could read people well.

He would like to say that he could uncover any mystery.

He would like to say that he, Ron and Hermione were excellent at removing information from unwilling victims.

He would like to say all that, but he can't.

Because he can not discover Percy Jackson's secret.

He can not find out what makes Percy Jackson tick.

And he can not understand why Percy refuses to get close with he, Ron and Hermione.

As in, he was friendly to them, he cracked out jokes, and spent practically all his time with them, he was acting exactly like a friend.

But that was it, he was acting.

Harry knew that, if Percy had his way, he would high tail it out of here like Harry did whenever he saw Cho Chang.

Harry couldn't understand why Percy seemed to, not dislike their company, but he would prefer to be in someone else's.

But then, Harry realised, that his girlfriend and all his friends were on the other side of the world, and Percy had no way of contacting them. Of course he would be sad.

If Harry was thousands of miles away from, oh...let's say Ginny (just an example of course), then he wouldn't exactly be enthusiastic to get chummy with the local fat kids - it _was _America after all. **(KIDDING KIDDING DONT MURDER ME AND SUE ME AND CHARGE ME FOR RACISM AAAARRGGGHHH)**

But that didn't mean Harry had to like it.

But then Harry thought, why do I care so much?

For as Ron eloquently put it, "I dunno about it mate, I mean, if the bloke doesn't want to be friends with us, I mean, he shouldn't, it should be his choice mate. Blimey! Is that the time? I think I'll go down to dinner mate."

Very helpful.

Harry didn't know why he cared so much, he did not, after all, know Percy well, but he felt a yearning to be his friend. He wanted Percy's friendship, Percy's _approval_ desperately,

And this scared Harry.

Percy's natural ability to make friends meant that Harry would try to gain his approval, and that means that Harry might do something dangerous, something that could get other people - and himself - hurt.

Normally Harry wasn't the rational kind - that was Hermione's job - but this recently added security of Percy made him worried about how dangerous Voldemort was - or, as Percy called him, Humpty Dumpty, because his head looked like an egg, apparently.

Harry was knocked out of his musings, when the sneering voice of Draco Malfoy came from along the corridor.

"Looks like Potter's finally cracked," He said in a loud voice, which made Pansy Parkinson shriek with her bark like laughter, get it - bark like? Dog? Pansy is female - a female dog, so Pansy is a b- "He should be seeing Madam Pompfrey, but then again, I don't think she has a remedy for being a lunatic."

This caused a peal of laughter from Malfoy's fellow Slytherins, and, surprisingly enough, the rest of the students in the corridor.

Harry felt his face flush, it had been three years since he had dealt with something like this, back when people thought he opened the Chamber of Secrets, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

He was used to the Slytherins' taunts, but not those from other houses, and his own as well, he realised, seeing the Patil twins laughing with everyone else.

Unable to take it, Harry sprinted away, all the way to the Gryffindor common room.

"Belligerent," he said to the Fat Lady, who swung open, revealing Ron and Hermione, the only ones inside on one of the last sunny days of the year.

Looking up from her book, Hermione saw him, and said, "Harry, what's wrong? You look all upset?"

Harry slumped down into an armchair beside her, and he scowled, "For some reason, everyone thinks I'm a lunatic."

Hermione shuffled over to him, "Oh Harry, the thing is, no one really thinks that You-Know-Who is back, and you're saying he is, so of _course _people are going to thing you're..."

She searched for the kindest word.

"Barking," offered Ron, "Insane, a loony, off your rocker."

"Thanks," Said Harry miserably, "I needed that."

"But _why_ does no one think he's back? I mean, they all believed Dumbledore last year."

Hermione gave Ron a look that said, _Leave this to me_. "Harry, the thing is, although they believed him then, they went home to the summer immidiately afterwards, where they read about how you were a lunatic in the _Daily Prophet_, and now Percy's back, even though Dumbledore told everyone that he died last year. I'm not saying it's bad he's alive though!" She added, seeing Harry's expression. She added as an undertone, "I just wonder how he is..."

Ron slapped Harry on the back, and said, "Well, see you mate, I'm gonna go down to the lake." And with that abrupt goodbye, he walked off.

Hermione looked at her watch, "Oh! Goodness, I need to go to the library and look up cheering charms, we might study them soon..."

This left Harry alone, in a miserable silence.

But after a couple of minutes, Percy sauntered in, and flopped into a chair besides Harry, and said, "Harry, I have a question."

Having nothing better to do, Harry gestured for Percy to continue.

"You know how I thought that all the witches here were really nice?" Harry nodded, exasperated at Percy's...obliviousness, "Well, I don't think I like them as much now."

Confused, Harry asked, "What d'you mean?"

"Well," said Percy, "They're always looking at me, and when they do, they whisper about me to each other, and their always laughing when I come near!"

Harry stared.

Did Percy really not know why all the girls giggled when he came near?

He shook his head slowly, "Blimey mate, it's been a year. A _year. _And you still haven't realised..."

"Realised what?" Asked Percy, and he looked so innocent, that Harry had to laugh.

Feeling happier, Harry stood up, "You know what? I think I'll join Ron by the lake. Thanks Percy, you've really cheered me up."

And with that, he walked out, leaving a confused Percy in his wake.

**Well that's done.**

**I recommend the song Chlorine, by Twenty One Pilots.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	8. DAHogsHead

**Heyyy...again.**

**Um...not really got a clue what to do for this book - I mean, I had the template of the Triwizard Tournament in the last book.**

**Oh well.**

**Wow, literally just deleted everything I wrote, realising I was writing about the wrong book.**

Harry was confused, for the past few weeks, he had been having his dream in that hallway, ending in a dark, mysterious door, with him a hair's width away from opening it, but he had also been having multiple dreams about Percy.

Some were in third person, others were in the point of view of one of Percy's friends, and sometimes they were in Percy's point of view.

But none of them made any sense.

They showed Percy and his blond girlfriend in a dark, red...place, and, with one intake of breath, Harry knew that the place was toxic, it had glass shards on the surface, and a soft underlayer, which felt disturbingly like human skin, and, unless he was mistaken, monsters. Monsters so weird that they shouldn't exist, not even in the magical world. Monsters of immense size and strength. Monsters everywhere.

There was no way Percy ever went there, he would never survive. No one would.

Harry should've dismissed these dreams as what they were: dreams. But they felt so _real_. Every step Harry took, every poisonous breath, they all felt real, like he wasn't asleep.

Sometimes, he would wake up with his wand out, pointing at nothing. But in his dream, the nothing was a monstrous being that made his wand look like a twig, and even Percy's glowing sword - did Harry mention the sword? - looked like a pen compared to it.

Harry was shaken out of his musings as the door to the Hog's Head banged open, and in trooped what looked like to be thirty people.

The was Fred and George Weasley at the front, with Lee Jordan next to them, Lavender Brown was there as well, as well as the Patil twins, and countless others.

Harry felt shocked and elated, the entire term he'd been tainted and bullied about he was called an attention seeking brat, and was lying about the return of Voldemort, and it turns out that there were people who _did _believe him after all.

Once the bar man had finished bashing the mugs of butterbeer on the side, and everyone had come to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, Hermione stood up to speak.

"So," she started nervously, "I'm sure that you all~"

There was a crash, and a body seemed to spill onto the dirty floor, the door creaking behind it.

"Sorry I'm late!" Cried Percy, standing up abruptly, his tall frame making him hit his head on the ceiling, which made most of the boys snicker, but most of the girls looked concerned, "I had a little trouble on the way." Harry had just noticed that Percy's wizard in groves were slightly torn, and he had a little golden dust on them as well.

"Yes, yes okay," Sadi Hermione a little sharply, clearly annoyed, "just sit down now."

Once Percy flopped into a chair next to Lavender, who looked delighted, Hermione restarted her little speech, "As I was saying," she said, glaring at Percy, she seemed to have gained a little more confidence though, "You all know why you are here~"

"I don't," said Percy, and Hermione glared at him, and he looked sheepish, "sorry."

Hermione took a deep breath, and looked up at the ceiling, "You all know why you are here, we have decided that Umbridge is an incompetent teacher and we need to learn how to defend ourselves. So, Harry had the _genius_ idea," Harry glared at her, "okay, _I _had the...idea that we should start out own Defence Against the Dark Arts group, and Harry should teach us."

The small crowd started muttering words of support, until one student stood up and said, "But why should Potter teach us?"

Ron, along with Fred and George, glared at him, "And why are _you_ here?" Asked the youngest Weasley boy.

"You know, Fred, my man," Said George, looking at his twin, "I think we should..._persuade _him to go where he's wanted," he pulled out a long, sharp metal object, "I hear that the Hospital Wing is very nice this time of year."

"You know what, George, my man," said Fred, brandishing another one of the long, metal objects, "You've just had a brilliant idea."

"Stop! Stop!" Cried Hermione, "if you get him out, he'll go and tell Umbridge!"

Fred and George reluctantly put their weapons down, and Ron said, rather rudely, "What's your name anyway?"

"Zacharias Smith," he said, with equal rudeness in his tone. Percy snorted, and Zacharias glared at him.

"Well, I don't think any of this matters," Said Harry, "but, Zacharias, if you really want to know..." he took a breath, "I fought Voldemort last summer, and I survived, barely survived, but I survived, so I feel like I'm slightly more qualified than _you_."His voice was turning more and more broken as he went on.

Percy clutched a hand to his heart, "what about me, Harry? Surely you haven't forgotten your handsome saviour?!"

Harry rolled his eyes, grateful for Percy's light hearted distraction from his own growing misery, "Percy helped."

Seeming content with this, Percy relaxed,unaware of the adoring gazes multiple girls were sending him.

"So," said Hermione, "I feel like, first, we should sign this form, to show that we are members."

Everyone signed, some more willingly than others.

Percy took out a pen, and was about to take off the lid to sign, but then looked panicked, and used the quill that Hermione was handing round instead.

"And now," said Hermione when Terry Boot had signed his name at the bottom of the parchement, "we should agree on a location, does anyone know where we could meet?"

Her words were met with silence, everyone thinking. Though Harry noticed that Percy was tilting his head, as though he was being talked to.

Finally, after a couple of minutes, a deep voice said, "What about the Room of Requirement?"

"I'm sorry?" Said Hermione, "The Room of What?"

"The Room of Requirment," said Percy, grinning.

"Well," he said, when he was met with silence, "on the fifth floor..."

**Sorry for the bad ending. Couldn't be bothered to explain the room.**

**I have written another story. It mortals meeting demigods one-shots, and it's called...drum roll please... Mortals and the Demigods.**

**Wow, original, I know.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	9. LeaderAndName

**Heyyyy...again.**

**Well this is awkward, I know it's been a while, but I have a good excuse...**

**Um...I'm lazy?**

**PercabethSolangeloIsMyLife: you got me, I am, in fact, Rick Riordan. I own everything.**

**Autographs will be 50 bucks each.**

**49.99 if you're lucky.**

**Hope you guys don't mind a little swearing, I think I'll add a little from time to time now.**

The huge wooden door that Harry had never seen before in his time at Hogwarts creaked open, sounding especially loud, even though it was only 7 o'clock, and the fifth years had to be in bed by 9.

Harry peaked around the door, half expecting Umbridge to be on the other side, her toad like face stretched into an ugly smile at the prospect of carting then off to detention, even though Hermione had insisted that they weren't breaking any rules.

However, there was only Percy - it was agreed that he would set up the room, and Harry, Ron and Hermione would arrive later, along with the rest of DA.

Percy seemed to be entertaining himself by soaking all the books on the vast shelves, and then turning them dry again. No matter how many times Harry saw it, he would always be impressed by Percy's wandless magic.

Unfortunately, Hermione had entered the room just as Percy had soaked the books from water out of thin air. Harry remembered back in muggle school, when he was taught that the air had water particles in, maybe Percy was using them? It seemed unlikely.

Hermione let out a shriek like a banshee, grabbed one of the cushions, and started whaling on Percy, who started to run off.

"Relax! I can turn them dry! You're crazy woman! What are you doing with that!? Wait! No! No please! Stop!"

Just at that moment, Ron poked his head around the door, and, the moment he saw what Hermione was doing to Percy, tried to back out of the room, but he was forced forward by the other members of DA, who stopped short at the sight in front of them.

When Hermione saw all the people who were staring, eyes wide, she regained her composure, and stood up.

Percy cautiously rose to his feet, eyeing Hermione suspiciously, and he snapped his fingers, making the books perfectly dry again.

There was an awkward silence as the last few members of DA trickled in, with Zacharias Smith walking in last, scowling.

Harry stood up, aware of twenty pairs of eyes on him, and swallowed.

He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly a voice piped up from the back of the room, and twenty heads swivelled to face Hermione, who was sitting on one of the cushions.

"Right," said Hermione briskly, "I'm sure that you all know what you're here for," Zacharias Smith snorted, muttering "duh" but Hermione ignored him, "and I'm sure that you're all excited to start, but there are a couple things we need to decide first."

Confused looks were being thrown around the room, wasn't Harry the leader? Shouldn't he be talking? Harry himself was still standing awkwardly, unsure if he should sit back down or not.

"I think we need to elect a leader," Hermione continued, unaware of Harry's discomfort.

Twenty pairs of eyes swivelled you Harry, and back to Hermione.

"Who thinks that Ron Weasley should be leader?" Continued Hermione.

Ron put his hand up, but slowly put it down again when no one else put their hand up, his face as red as his hair.

"Right, er... who thinks that Harry should be leader?"

Twenty pairs of hands went up.

Harry cleared his throat, "Ummm...thanks Hermione. Anyway~"

Hermione spoke again, leaving Harry standing awkwardly, again, "And I think we should have a name."

"Er... The Fuck Voldemort Gang?" Said Percy, causing everyone in the room - other than Harry and Hermione - to shudder.

"Thank you Percy, that was useless, I think we should have a different name." Said Hermione.

"What about Fuck Fudge? Or double-F for short?" Percy continued.

"Maybe not," said Hermione, again.

"Oh! How about~"

"Does anybody else have any suggestions?" Asked Harry, speaking over Percy, who scowled and pouted.

"Umm...Dumbledore's Army? DA for short." Suggested Ginny.

"Fine!" Said Harry, eager to move on from Percy's... suggestions.

Harry took a deep breath, "Okay, so, now that that's all been sorted out, let's get started shall we? I think that we should start with something simple, how about..._expelliarmus?_" (**AN Spelling?)**

**So, yeah it was short, but be grateful, hopefully frequent updates will continue!**

**I'm hoping to make the stories a little mor me light hearted, and I'm hoping also to achieve comedy! That chapter was the first of many hilarious ones! What a treat!**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	10. Hogsmeade

**Heyyyyyy...again.**

**Wooooo! 100 story followers!**

***Sniff* I would like to thank...sorry I'm a little emotional... anyway, I would like to thank me, and me again. If it wasn't for me, the I wouldn't be here...*Sob***

**I have no idea how J.K Rowling does it, I mean, the fifth book is so long, and it has barely any action, what does she fill it up with?**

**Anyway.**

It had been a couple of months since Harry had started his DA meetings, and he was happy with how they were going, although Percy was not very helpful with his little comments, he made up for it in his teaching help, and the others were great as well.

It was February the fourteenth, also known as Valentines Day, which happened to be the day the second visit to Hogsmeade fell on.

Even though it was February, it was surprisingly warm, and Harry decided to leave his scarf hung up in his wardrobe.

Due to it being Valentines Day, many students were going into Hogsmeade as couples, which Harry had absolutely no desire to go on a date (it had nothing to do with the fact that Ginny was going with Dean Thomas already, of course).

Although he didn't want to go out with anyone (well, not quite), that didn't stop people wanting to go out with _him_. He'd had multiple offers in the past week, all of which he'd had to decline awkwardly.

Percy had had more than his fair share of requests in the past week too, and Harry thought that the look of shock on Percy's face when someone asked him out would never get old, no matter how many times he saw it.

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Percy had drank some butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks, but wanted to explore the village and show Percy around a little, given how fine a day it was.

Just as they were exiting Honeydukes (which they had spent _quite _a while in), their moneybags considerably lighter than when they entered, a lump of fur barrelled into Harry, knocking him over, his fizzing whizbees scattering all over the ground.

Ron and Hermione, drew their wands, and Percy took and extremely terrifying pen out of his pocket.

He was just about to uncap it, when the lump of fur woofed, and started licking Harry's face with relish.

Now recognising the lump of fur, Harry laughed and cried "Sirius!" At which Sirius the lump of fur barked at happily, his mammoth tail thumping from side to side.

Percy tilted his head, "I dunno Harry, he doesn't look quite like Sirius, maybe he's a cousin or something?" At which Hermione swatted him.

"No, you idiot," said Harry, Sirius is an animagus, he can turn into a dog."

"Oh," said Percy, "I have a friend who can turn into a big goldfish," he offered.

"Lovely," said Harry, sobering up, knowing that Sirius would only risk turning up if it was serious.

He slowly stood up, wiping off dog drool, and followed Sirius, who was already halfway down the path out of Hogsmeade, towards the mountains.

**Lord Percy's very useful time skip.**

Harry clawed his way up into the cave, gasping for breath after that exhausting climb up the mountain. He barely had time to take in the lovely interior of dead rats and blood before he collapsed on the comfortable uneven floor.

"Oh, come on Harry," Said Percy, who seemed to have even more energy after the climb than before, "It wasn't _that _bad."

"Yes...it was...you little sh-" Harry was interrupted by Ron and Hermione, who were even more pathetic than him, grasping their way into the cave, barely able to stand on their own two feet.

Sirius the not-quite-lump-of-fur-more-like-a-dog leapt in last, wagging his tail energetically and barking like a tree.

He suddenly morphed into a tall, dark haired man, with sharp cheekbones and dark, shadowed eyes which had haunted, demonic look in them.

"Sirius!" Cried Percy, "What a surprise! You look great!"

Sirius scowled "Woof woof wo- oh, sorry, I forgot, I'm not a dog any more," he said sheepishly, which was impressive, as he could only turn into a dog, "I have some news. Voldemort's forced have strengthened, he's got the dementors under his total control."

"That's...it?" Gasped Ron, "_That's _why...we...came up here?"

"Wait," Sirius said, though Ron wasn't going anywhere fast, "There's more."

"Hooray," muttered Percy.

"Voldemort has employed the giants, we know that at least ten have joined him, but Hagrid's doing his best-" he shut up, "I shouldn't have told you that."

"So that's where Hagrid's gone?" Asked Harry eagerly, his exhaustion almost forgotten, "To employ the giants?"

"No. Maybe. Yes." Said Sirius.

Percy frowned, "Well, I call Voldy Humpty Dumpty, and in the old story, Humpty died and his guts are spilled all over the ground, and no one could help him, so maybe that will happen to Voldemort," his eyes widened, "Woah, that's a really messed up story to tell kids."

Ron blinked, "Humpty who? If it's stories you want, we have Little Jenny, who was run over by a broomstick, it teaches children to be safe. Oh, then there's Little Jimmy, who-"

"No," said Hermione, "Not like that."

There was an awkward silence.

"Well," said Sirius, "That's all!"

Ron groaned, "And now we have to go _all the way back_!"

Percy smiles, "Maybe not," and he snapped his fingers.

Harry's legs, which already felt wobbly, collapsed underneath him, and, looking down, he saw himself turning into water.

Panicking, he looked around, and saw Ron, Hermione and Percy were melting too. Only a bewildered Sirius remained normal.

Ron and Hermione shared his horrified looks, but Percy stuck a hand out towards Sirius, and cried, "I'm melting! Dorothy, how could you!" Which just confused Sirius more.

Harry started to feel himself slipping away, and knew he was going to die.

_No_, he told himself, _I won't die with my last memory being Percy acting as an evil witch cursing a little girl from Kansas who is actually my Godfather_.

But he couldn't fight it, and as he blacked out, he felt his liquid form turning into a free, wild, fine mist.

**Well, that chapter even weirded me out, so I have no idea what that's going to do to you guys.**

**This chapter's song: Take Me Home, Country Roads, by John Denver.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	11. AN

**Heyyyyyy...again.**

**I have nothing to say here.**

**But I'm a generic Fanfiction writer, so I NEED an author's note AT LEAST once a story.**

**I guess all I'm saying is that you should stick around for this story, seeing as practically every single generic idea about a Harry/Percy crossover is going to be incorporated into the stories.**

**Also, I'm gonna introduce one of the Seven from time to time for reasons you'll know about in the last book.**

**So uh...yeah, stick around.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	12. Leo

**Heyyyyy...again.**

Harry spent the next few days on constant alert, his shoulders tense with tension, although he reassured himself with the fact that Voldemort would not attack until he was sure he would win, and there was no way he could gain a powerful enough army in a measly few months.

However, Harry's body seemed to say, _Humpty's coming! Watch your eggshells! _At which Harry told his body to shut up.

But, as the weeks stretched out, and the sun shone through the windows of the castle every day, Harry found it hard to believe that there could be something as evil as Humpty Dumpt- that is Voldemort out there.

So Harry allowed himself to relax, and lower his guard.

At the present moment, a week before the Easter holidays, and a week before Harry would go to the Burrow with Ron, Harry was eating dinner - steak and kidney pie - and wondering where Percy was, for he was absent.

Suddenly the man himself burst into the Great Hall, shouting "AWOOGA!!!! AWOOOGA!!! This is a code red situation! I repeat code-"

"SKITTLES!!!!!" **(A/N yes, yes I did make Leo love skittles.)**

A great ball of flame burst into the Great Hall, burning the robes of nearby students, who screamed, brandished their wands and shouted "_Aquamenti_!" To put out the flames.

Percy shouted "Son of a b-"

"SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES VODKA SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Percy surrounded himself in a water tornado, and launched himself at the ball of fire, smothering it with his freaky water powers, putting out the flames and revealing a scrawny Latino boy who looked like an elf. Harry had to resist the urge to yell, _Merry Christmas_!

Percy dragged the elf, who was now convulsing and shivering, over to Harry, who had remained helpfully useless the entire time.

"Is he okay?" Asked Hermione, looking worried.

"He's fine," said Percy, "Just a little weird."

"Doesn't Santa- I mean, don't his friends want him or something?" Asked Harry.

Percy grinned, "Unfortunately, I am his friend."

Suddenly the Latino-elf woke up, leapt onto the bench beside Percy.

"Hello peeps! Uncle Leo here!" Said Mr Elf, grinning, seeming unfazed by Percy's rough handling of him.

"Uh...hi?" Said Ron, his face saying, _Is it safe?_

"So," said Harry, "Mr El- I mean Unc- I mean, Leo, um, who _are _you exactly?"

"Well," said Mr Elf, "I'm glad you asked! So Percy thought that I could come here to, you know, introduce myself and all that and- oooh! Are those never ending fires!" He cried, distracted.

Leo raced off to the big torches, which were hanging off the walls of the Great Hall.

Harry didn't know how anyone could touch them without being burnt, but Leo plunged his hand in and laughed.

"Hey Percy! Look at this! It tickles!"

"Oh no," muttered Percy, "He's still got sugar in his system. Wait, Leo! NO LEO! LEO STOP!!!"

He rushed off after the little uncle elf, who was doing unspeakable things with the torches. **(Get your head out the gutter)**

"That guy's weird," said Ron, "Let's not talk to him again."

"Agreed," said Hermione quietly, "But how can we do it without seeming rude?"

"Leave that to me," said Ron.

"Oh gosh!" He said loudly, in clear earshot if Percy, "I've just remembered that I have an appointment with some slugs- Hagrid, yes, yes Hagrid! He's expecting me in..."

"Oh that's a shame," said Percy, looking so disappointed that Harry almost felt guilty. Then he saw Leo and the torches, and he didn't feel guilty anymore.

"Ah, shame," said Ron, "But I'm sure Harry and Hermione would be more than happy to stay!" And with that he jogged off.

"What a friend, huh?" Muttered Harry, "You can always count on Ron to stick by you."

At that point Percy had dragged Leo away from the torches, and assured the others that Leo was normal no, though he was fidgeting and twitching on the ground as Percy spoke.

Leo the elf looked up, his grin still plastered on his face, "That was fun!" He cried, "Now to business!"

Harry, Hermione and Uncle Elf turned to Percy, who rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Ah," he said, "I didn't get that far. I guess... well, Leo's a powerful ally," Hermione looked skeptical at this, looking at a 5'6" elf impersonator who called us his niece and nephew grinning and nodding at everything Percy said, "Along with a few other friends, I have, and I came here to introduce Leo to you guys, get to know him before the final battl- I mean, whenever."

"Nice," said Harry, "On a completely unrelated note, what time is he expected back in America?"

Percy looked at his watch, before he remembered he didn't have one, "Uhh..dunno, but I'd give us a good hour for some quality frie-"

I'm a burst of flame, Leo spontaneously combusted. Hermione screamed, and Percy looked disappointed.

"Aw man!" He said, "I was hoping you guys could get to know him!"

"Yeah," said Harry, "devastating."

**Sorry for the disappointing chapter. But be grateful for what you have, damn vultures.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	13. Sadsadsad

**Heyyyy...again.**

**Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.**

**Warning: not funny.**

It was Gryffindor's first match of the Quidditch season **(sorry if the timeline doesn't add up) **and Harry felt the all-to-familiar feeling of butterflies in his stomach, as he nervously pulled his boot straps tight in the changing rooms.

"Alright Harry?" Asked Fred, or maybe George, thumping him on the back.

"No," Harry replied. He looked down at his hands, and realised they were shaking.

"Ah well," said George, or maybe Fred, sidling up to Fred, or maybe George, "You'll feel much worse once you're out there!"

"Thanks guys," muttered Harry, feeling a little sick.

As the Gryffindor team marched onto the pitch, brooms in hand, they were greeted by some rousing boos from the Slytherin house, on the stands opposite them. But those boos were quickly drowned out by the cheers and screams of the other three houses, all supporting Gryffindor.

Harry scanned the stands, hoping for a glimpse of Ron, Hermione or Percy to cheer him on, but they were lost in the sea of spectators.

Suddenly Harry's eyes fell upon Ginny Weasley, who was applauding wildly and screaming. He felt a jolt in his chest, which was followed by another jolt as Fred Weasley poked him in the back, saying "Move along Harry!"

Harry quickly glanced away, not eager for Fred, a skilled wizard, to see Harry staring at his sister.

His eyes reached Albus Dumbledore, which surprised Harry, seeing as Dumbledore had only appeared in a Quidditch match once before, in Harry's first year.

On Dumbledore's left was, surprisingly, Percy, who looked positively bored, his feet resting on the bannister in front of him.

When Harry met his eyes, Percy grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, clearly he had seen who

Harry was staring at before.

Harry scowled, distracted, and only just noticed when Madame Hooch blew her whistle to start the game.

**Lord Percy's frankly delicious time skips.**

Harry had been circling the stands for about half an hour, almost as bored as Percy, his butt was aching from sitting on a broom for so long, and, although it was spring, it was chilly, and he shivered in his Quidditch robes, wishing he'd worn something warmer.

Gryffindor was doing spectacularly badly, missing every shot, and letting every shot in. Fred and George, normally on top form, we're constantly missing the bludgers, and when they did hit them, they sent them off in the completely wrong direction.

One of the bludgers even barrelled into Dumbledore, who batted it away with his wand, his eyes twinkling, but he was frowning, clearly wondering what the Gryffindor team was doing.

Meanwhile, the Slytherins were having the easiest game in living memory, the chasers zooming down the pitch, unopposed, and scoring hoop after hoop.

Out of nowhere, Harry suddenly felt...bliss, no worries, no problems, no stress, no responsibilities, just pure...bliss.

_Fly into the ground _said a voice in his head, soft, coaxing him to kill himself.

_Fly into the ground _the voice said again, a little firmer this time.

Harry eagerly pointed his broom downwards, hurtling towards the ground.

He was deaf to the screams of the crowd, blind to Percy jumping up, worried, but Lee Jordan's voice, amplified by the "Sonorus" charm, said,

"What is Harry Potter doing? Perhaps he's seen the snitch!"

_The snitch_, yes, yes, the snitch. He couldn't kill himself yet, he needed to catch the snitch.

_Fly into the ground_ said the voice in his head again, this time hard and commanding.

_Nah, _Harry thought, _no thanks_.

It really was that easy, Harry had thrown off the Imperius charm.

The Imperius charm! The Gryffindor team was Imperiused! But by whom? It didn't matter, what mattered at the moment was that Harry needed to get the snitch before Slytherin scored 150 points, as he was the only one who could resist the charm.

The score was 130-0.

Suddenly there were cheers from the Slytherin crowd, and groans from the Gryffindor supporters. 140-0.

Harry circled the stands, his eyes desperately searching for the snitch.

He saw the Slytherin captain, Mulsifer, hurtling towards the Gryffindor hoops, the quaffle in his hand, gloating.

Suddenly a flash of gold shone towards Harry's face. The snitch! It was right in front of him, it's small golden wings flapping as fast as a hummingbird's.

Harry reached out to grab it, elated, there was no way Mulsifer could score before Harry got the Snitch!

Suddenly, a body rammed into Harry, sending him off to the side, out of control.

When Harry regained control, he was met by the gloating face of Draco Malfoy, who was laughing maniacally.

"Whoops!" He cried, "Sorry Potter!"

Harry cursed, and looked for the snitch, but it had disappeared again.

The Slytherins cheered yet again, and Harry heard Lee Jordan say miserably, "150 points to Slytherin, 0 points to Gryffindor."

Harry felt all his motivation leave him. As long as the Gryffindor team was imperiused, there was no way they gain a lead. Harry might as well let Malfoy get the snitch.

Then he pictured Sirius in front of him, saying, "Come on Harry! They may have won the battle, but we shall win the war!"

If Harry caught the snitch now, then Gryffindor still stood a chance in their next game to gain some points to reach the final.

His heart now filled with hope, Harry sped around the pitch, his eyes darting this way and that, desperately looking for a flash of gold.

**Lord Percy's time skip. It's his, not yours.**

There was no hope.

An hour later, and it was 350-0 to Slytherin. Harry was still circling the pitch, but he was devoid of hope.

The crowd, so loud at the start, was no silent, not even having the energy to groan whenever Slytherin cheered.

The Slytherin side, however, were still cheering their hearts out, chanting _Gryffindor are losers_ for the sixth time that match.

It could have been Harry's imagination, but he thought he saw a flash of gold out of the corner of his eye.

He turned, and there was the snitch. Harry slowly turned his broom, and dwindled his way towards the snitch.

The snitch seemed to be just as sick of this game as Harry, for it barely moved, it would be an easy capture.

Miserably, Harry reached out, maybe they could lose by just 200-

A figure zipped past Harry, and a hand closed around the snitch.

Draco Malfoy slid to a halt after circling Harry once, his face filled with vindictive happiness.

Madame Hooch blew her whistle.

500-0.

The most humiliating defeat for Gryffindor in Hogwarts history.

Miserably, Harry flew to the ground, shouldered his broom, and trudged towards the changing rooms.

**Well that was depressing! I guess I'm just spent, I've been making people laugh all day, I guess I'm out of comedy.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	14. Grrrrr

**Heyyyy...again.**

**I've finally found the book I based this (and my last book) off! It's on Wattpad, called "Percy Jackson Goes To Hogwarts" by "just-shut-up-already".**

**It's a great one!**

**Also, can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Percy is more powerful than Annabeth (at least, in my opinion) when Annabeth had 5 extra years of training?**

**And also, quick question, how do you check how many views your story's got?**

Harry sat slumped in his armchair, the remains of a fire crackling in the fireplace, the clock ticking slowly and steadily towards 2 o'clock.

All the other Gryffindor's had gone to bed, but Harry, and Percy, who had to protect him.

But Percy was almost asleep in his chair, but was still fidgeting, bursting with energy.

Pitying him, Harry tried to start a conversation with him, to give him a bit of interest, "I'm thinking of resigning from the Quidditch team."

Ouch, that wasn't the best conversation starter.

Percy looked surprised, "But the Gryffindor team suck! You're the only thing keeping them together!"

Harry scowled, then realised that the match was the first Quidditch match Percy had seen Gryffindor play in, as last year was the Triwizard tournament, so he had no idea how good Gryffindor actually was.

"We're normally amazing, but this time, the entire team was imperiused."

"Ahh, yes," Percy nodded sagely, "What's that?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "It's a charm which gives you complete control of your victim, it's illegal."

"Huh, but you have nothing but your word that the Gryffindor team was imperiused?"

"There's veritaseum," said Harry, "We could ask Snape for some."

"I'm sure Snape would be _more _than happy to help his favourite student," said Percy sarcastically.

"Your not being very helpful here Percy."

"Hey, the way I see it, it's just a game which someone is taking _way_ too seriously."

Harry felt anger surge through him,"It. Is. Not. Just. A. Game." He growled through gritted teeth. He left his armchair, and stormed his way past Percy, who looked exasperated.

**Lord Percy himself shall bless the next time skip.**

**After this one.**

Harry trudged towards the Great Hall, his head down, he felt unable to face his housemates and friends. But he also _really _wanted some bacon, and his sense of duty prevailed, so he went down to eat bacon.

He ignored the stares and whispers as he walked towards the Gryffindor table - which was, unfortunately, the furthest table from the doors of the Great Hall.

Harry miserably slumped down in his seat next to Ron and Hermione, and piled his plate up with bacon. Oh sweet bacon.

"You okay mate?" Asked Ron, who didn't exactly look happy himself. Harry hadn't seen him look this upset since the Chudley Cannons had lost a match for the fourteenth time in a row.

"Yeah" said Harry. He cast around for a subject to talk about, anything other than Quidditch, "Where's Percy?" He asked, noticing the boy's absence.

Ron shrugged, and Hermione said, "He said he needed to write a letter when he came in earlier."

Harry took that as a perfectly valid excuse, and, his bacon finished, he slowly stood up, and walked out of the Great Hall as quickly as possible, anxious not to face the accusing looks of the Gryffindors.

As he was about to reach the doors, and escape the stares, a small, skinny figure stepped in front of Harry, two fat- sorry, its 2020 - 'bulky' figures flanked him.

"Well, if it isn't _the _Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the vanquisher of the Dark Lord, and let's not forget about the fact that he's the _youngest Gryffindor seeker in history_," said Draco Malfoy spitefully, Crabbe and Goyle laughing next to him.

"Thinking about retiring, Potter?" Malfoy continued, "You could become Filch's assistant, you could sweep the corners with that broom of yours, after all, it's not doing anything else," Malfoy laughed. At this point more Slytherin had joined him, all laughing behind him.

Malfoy sighed regretfully, "And to think, the Gryffindor team used to be so good... if I didn't know any better, I would think someone had...tampered with the game," he finished, grinning.

Harry seethed, "It was you!"

Ron, who had come up behind Harry, put his hand on Harry's shoulder, though he looked like he was about to attack Malfoy himself, "Harry mate, stop."

"Please Harry," said Hermione. Looking around, Harry saw that a lot of Gryffindor's had come up behind Harry, and a lot more Slytherins behind Malfoy.

Malfoy smirked at Ron, "Ah, Weasley, you must have been _so_ disappointed when you saw how badly Gryffindor played, Gryffindors are lions? More like Gryffindors are losers."

This was the Slytherins' cue to start up a chant of their favourite song _Gryffindor are losers_.

Harry whipped out his wand, and Hermione gripped his other shoulder, "Harry, no!"

Percy had now entered the Great Hall - he must have finished writing his letters - and said, "Harry stop!"

Harry suddenly felt the air around him lock in place, preventing him from moving, so he was stuck in the position of holding his wand like he was about to attack, and he wasn't able to say anything, so he wasn't able to hex Malfoy.

He glared at Percy, he was pretty sure it was him, as Harry was beginning to suspect that Percy could control the water particles in the air, and the air around him felt suspiciously damp.

The Slytherins booted with laughter, finding Harry's humiliation hilarious.

Malfoy turned to Percy, "Jackson! You may be 'powerful' but one glance and you can tell that you're denser than a sack of rocks, probably along with all your friends from wherever you came from! How do you feel about your house losing?"

Percy glared a truly terrifying at Malfoy, and Harry noticed with satisfaction that Malfoy's smirk slipped off his face, before he half heartedly recovered it.

Was it a coincidence, or did the sky just darken? And did the lake get rougher? And was Harry shaking in anger, or was the ground shaking?

Harry felt the lock of air around him loosen, either Percy was losing his concentration out of his anger, or he was letting Harry attack Malfoy?

Using every ounce of his strength, Harry pointed his wand at Malfoy, and managed to get out, "_Cucurbita facerba!_"

The Gryffindors burst out laughing, and the Slytherins howled in outrage.

Malfoy's head was encased in a pumpkin.

Immediately, the Slytherins drew their wands, and the Gryffindor's theirs.

The Slytherins struck first, and after that the hall dissolved into chaos, curses flew everywhere, and a battle of house honour began.

**Well that's that. Wasn't Malfoy a savage? He called the Gryffindors losers. He's out of control.**

**This weeks song recommendation: 100 Bad Days by AJR.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	15. Naughty

**Heyyy...again.**

**I've been promoted! I'm now Lord Percy's personal scribe! So he actually reads through my chapters! So expect a rise in quality!**

**I think I'll go for weekly uploads.**

"Mr Potter!" Cried Professor McGonagoll, her already thin lips pursed, her face looking even more wrinkled as it was convulsed in a scowl.

Harry was in McGonagall's office, Ron and Hermione next to him, his head down, yet he was seething with rage.

"Do you have any idea... that was disgustingly out of order! Attacking a fellow student! Leading your house to battle against fellow students! Mr Potter, I hope you understand how serious this is!"

"Yes, Professor," muttered Harry, wisely trying not to anger the wrinkly old Professor.

"No, Mr Potter, you don't!" Shouted McGonagall. Harry was flabbergasted, how could she say that? Well, she was right, but that wasn't the point!

"Malfoy started it," said Harry, regretting the words the moment they came out.

"Malfoy started it? Malfoy started it?!" Professor McGonagall sounded hysterical at this point, "Mr Potter, I don't care who started it! All I care about is that you dishonoured the good name of Gryffindor!"

Harry hang his head, he didn't regret what he did, but he was ashamed.

"Now, Mr Potter, Mr Weasley, and Miss Granger, you shall all receive sever punishments. To start with detentions, you shall have weekly-"

_Knock knock_.

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips so much that it didn't look like she had any, and marched over to the door, "Yes?"

"_Hem hem_."

Harry froze.

Oh no.

Oh sh-

"I've come to see the rogues."

Rogues? _Rogues?_ How _dare _that toad, that frog, that, that, that little b-

"To sort out their punishments you see."

McGonagall stood in the doorframe, glaring at Umbridge over the top of her glasses.

"I do believe that _I _am the head of these children's house, and therefore they are _my _responsibility?"

"Ah yes, let me just," Umbridge patted her disgusting pink pockets, and drew out a piece of parchment, "Here we are. _Hem hem_," Ah yes, the devil's cry, "_The high was inquisitor of Hogwart's _\- which is me - _hereby has the permission from Cornelius Fudge - _the _minister for magic_, whom I am on _excellent _terms with - _to undermine any ruling of those with higher power than him or her, sans the Headmaster_. So you see," said Umbridge with her sickening smile, "I - that is, the high inquisitor - have the power to punish these students, without taking your opinions into account."

Harry felt his blood heat, his face redden, his fists clench. Any punishment that Umbridge would give would be a hundred times worse than any punishment McGonagall could dream up.

Professor McGonagall scowled, "very well," And she stepped out of the doorway, allowing the toad to enter.

"_Hem hem_," said Professor Toad, "Let's started with Mr Ronald Weasley," She smiled at said boy, "Mr Weasley, you are hereby banned from eating more than one plateful of food per meal, and your portion sizes shall be carefully monitored by a house elf." Ron sputtered, his face red, shock was written all over his face, and he just sat in his seat, frozen, and unable to let go of the fact that he could not eat gargantuan amounts.

"Now," said Professor Toad, her mouth stretched wide in a warty smile, "Miss Granger," Hermione gulped, and shook in her seat, "You are hereby banned from the library," Hermione fainted, "For the rest of the school year."

Harry felt dread spread through his body like cancer as Professor Toad turned to him, "Mr Potter..." she said, "You are hereby banned from playing, watching, and researching Quidditch," Harry leapt up in his seat, and shouted, "You can't do that! Why you little-"

"-for the rest of the year. And let's add on a weeks detention for disrespecting the high inquisitor of Hogwarts."

She smiled sweetly, "Well, that's all, I'll be going now." And she waddled out of the office in all her toady glory.

The moment the door slammed shut, Harry turned on Professor McGonagoll, wait, that sounds wrong. Harry turned _to _Professor McGonagoll, "Professor, you can't accept this punishment for us! It's absurd! Why-"

"That's enough Mr Potter," Snapped Professor McGonagoll, "I would do something if I could, but I, unfortunately cannot. And," she continued, "If you keep talking to me in that tone, then I shall add on another detention along with Professor Unbridge's week!"

**I, Lord Percy, dictate this time skip myself.**

**Thank you my Lord! What an honour!**

**Bow! Bow! Bow! **

"Woah," said Percy, "You guys look awful."

Ron stared morosely at his empty plate, which had only been full for a minute, before he had devoured every scrap of food on it.

Hermione silently cried over her book, which would be one of the last ones she would read for the next few months.

And Harry sat seething on the bench, his teeth grinding themselves to stumps.

"Really, Perce mate," said Ron, "You should be a detective."

Percy rolled his eyes, "Okay, what's wrong?"

Harry told him, and Percy looked angrier and angrier as the story went on, until Harry was honestly scared.

"Calm down Percy," said Hermione, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Percy nodded, and took a deep breath, "Well, that sucks, but I can't do anything about that without blowing- I mean, I can't do anything about that."

Harry nodded, to upset to notice Percy's mistake.

He looked up at the staff table, where Toad sat next to Dumbledore, her face stretched in her sickeningly sweet smile, and felt hatred in every atom of his body.

Just you wait Toad, just you wait.

**Well that was dramatic! **

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	16. No!

**Heyyyy...again.**

Harry glared as menacingly as he could at the front cover of "An Intermediate's guide to Defence." It was safer to glare at that than at the teacher at the front of the class. Professor Toad. His arch nemesis.

Speaking of Toad, her face seemed to always have the smile of satisfaction of a good day's work, especially when her eyes fell on Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Ron was in a constant state of misery, and looked like he was about to burst into tears whenever it was time to eat.

Harry was shaking from withdrawal, and he sat sobbing in his bed whenever Quidditch practice was going on - and Angelina looked like she wanted to as well. She had been so, _so_, angry when she heard that Harry was kicked off the team, she looked like Professor McGonagoll, scowling, a permanent look of displeasure on her face.

Harry couldn't even use his invisibility cloak to sneak away to watch Quidditch practice, as Umbridge had confiscated it.

And as for Hermione, she was in hysterics, she had no way of researching information, as a house elf was forced to make sure that no one leant Hermione any books, or gave her any help, so it was fortunate that Hermione had memorised all the books before the fifth year started.

But she couldn't remember everything, and, for the first time since her first year, Hermione Granger lost points for Gryffindor.

Now Umbridge was taking it too far.

**Holy Lord Percy's time skip.**

"You know Hermione," grumbled Ron, trying to ignore the house elf that was keeping a close eye on him on the seat right next to him, "I think I might actually start supporting your SPEW."

"You will?" Asked Hermione, elated, "Wait...start?"

"Harry Potter," said a crisp voice behind Harry, who turned around and saw Professor McGonagoll, her lips as pursed as usual, "Professor Dumbledore would like to see you, along with Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger."

_DUN DUN DUN._

Harry gulped, and he sensed Ron and Hermione doing the same. What could Dumbledore want with them?

Abandoning his meal, Harry rose, and followed Professor McGonagoll out of the Great Hall, with his friends trailing behind him, trying to ignore the stares and whispers.

**Lord Percy's time skip if 5 minutes.**

Harry slowly climbed the spiral staircase, Ron and Hermione behind him, his sense of dread growing.

After an eternity, he reached the intricately carved door, and knocked.

Percy Jackson opened the door.

"Harry!" He cried, seeming delighted, "Other guys! I was just going. See you Albus!" He cried over his shoulder as he left.

Albus Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, which was a new one, "Goodbye, Percy."

He gestured for the three to enter, and shut the door behind them.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir, why does Percy not call you sir? Isn't he a student like the rest of us?" Harry said before he could stop himself. Damn it, his mouth was bigger than a humpback whale that wasn't a humpback and was actually a blue.

But Professor Dumbledore only chuckled, and said, "Oh, we only address those more powerful than us as 'sir'. And I believe that you should not call those more powerful than you 'sir' if you are on good terms with them. And that is why Harry," he continued, "I would like you to keep calling me sir, for the time being."

_Ouch_.

That seemed a little harsh.

"Please, sit," said Dumbledore.

"Sir," said Hermione, once her she had sat on her wooden stool next to Harry, "Why did you call us here?"

"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore, "I'll be able to tell you that when our fourth member is here."

Immediately, there was a knock on the door.

"Ah! Here she is," said Dumbledore, flicking his wand.

The door swung open, and there, in all her glory, was Umbridge the toad.

Harry felt his eye twitch.

Not her.

He might not be able to control himself.

Hermione and Ron didn't look any happier than Harry, in fact, Ron looked positively murderous.

"_Hem hem_."

Please, just stood.

"Hello, Albus." Said Umbridge.

"Hello Dolores," replied Dumbledore, looking most displeased, "Please don't- I mean, please come in."

There was a miserable silence as Umbridge sat on her wooden stool next to Ron.

"Now," said Dumbledore, leaning forward, clasping his hands together, resting his elbows on the table separating him and the other four, "I have called you specific four here today because I would like to discuss the punishment of these three ringleaders. It is to harsh."

Harry felt elated, and struggled to resist the temptation to cast a smug smirk at Umbridge, but he couldn't resist seeing her reaction, so he turned his head to the right.

He almost reeled backwards.

Umbridge was _smiling_, and not that smile where you're sad and your not smiling, but the smile where you're not sad and _are _smiling. The smile smile! The warty, toad smile!

Umbridge leant forwards, smirking, and gestured for Dumbledore to continue.

Dumbledore did not looked disturbed, "I would like to impose my authority as headmaster of the school, and undermine you punishment, Dolores, and I would like to only give the students detentions for the remainder of the school year, once a week."

Umbridge smiled her warty smile, "Is that so?"

Dumbledore stared straight into her eyes, "Yes, yes, that is so, Dolores."

Umbridge gave a disgustingly falsely sympathetic sigh, "Very good, Dumbledore, very good, but, unfortunately, or, rather, fortunately, look what arrived on owl post today."

She unrolled a sheet of parchment.

"_Hem hem_, _As of today, March the fourteenth, 2020, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts - _oh! It's me! - _has been promoted to Headmaster or mistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And therefore the current Head has been removed from school grounds. Signed, Cornelius Fudge._"

Umbridge smirked.

"So," she said sweetly, "Albus Dumbledore, you, are fired."

**DUN DUN DUN!!!!!**

**Tensions are rising! It's getting serious.**

**I feel so ashamed, I didn't recommend a song to you guys last time, I don't know if I can face you guys.**

**I'll do two this time: Three Thirty, and Sober Up, both by AJR.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	17. OhDear

**Heyyy...again.**

**Now the juicy stuff begins!**

The weeks flew by like a bird, not the slow ones, but the fast birds.

Before Harry knew it, the teachers were badgering the students about revising for their O.W.L.S, even though they weren't badgers.

Hermione was at her wit's end, often snapping at people for "breathing loudly" and "sitting with deliberate aggression," as she couldn't use any books, and therefore she was unable to revise for the O.W.L.S, she was incredibly stressed, and she frequently burst into tears.

All this just strengthened Harry's hatred of Umbridge, how _dare_ she ruin Hermione's future?! But he was unable to rebel, as Umbridge was looking for any chance to expel him, Ron. and Hermione.

Speaking of Toady McFrogface, her tyrannical reign did not look like it was going to end any time soon, and Harry could only rebel with DA.

Those classes were the only thing keeping Harry sane, without them, he would be...not sane.

It was time for another DA meeting, and Harry felt nervous, it was, after all, the last meeting of the Spring term, so he needed a big one to keep the people's spirits up before the holidays.

So that was why he found himself sitting on a cushion in the Room if Requirement, nervously tapping his foot on the floor, waiting for his students.

**His Holy Lordship's, most humble, powerful, and greatest ruler, Lord Percy's time skip of 20 15 year olds entering a room.**

"Right!" Said Harry, "Today is the last lesson before we have the Easter Holidays, so we will be doing..." _Uh oh_, he thought, maybe he should've thought of what he was going to do before he started the lesson, "Uh..." _Come on Potter, come on. Something, anything!_ "We'll be learning how to summon slugs!" _No, not that, you half-wit._

Hermione slowly drew a hand down her face, Ron let out a "Huh?" and everyone else shared confused looks.

Percy piped up, "Uh..Harry, how are slugs useful?"

"Well," said Harry, "They...er...can distract your enemy, giving you the advantage!"

"But Harry," said Hermione, "Lord Hudson- Thompson-Buffalo-Archibald-Engelbert-Chamberlaine's Seventeenth Law clearly states that you are unable to create life with magic, it's all in the Hudson-Thompson-Buffalo-Archibald-Engelbert-Chamberlaine Book of Paradox's, where the scenarios -"

"Yes, thank you Hermione," said Harry, "But Ron summoned slugs in Second year, remember? Why don't you come up here and demonstrate to the class?"

Oh no.

Oh God no.

Harry had become...a _teacher_.

Yuck.

He shuddered.

Ron reluctantly came next to Harry, and drew out his wand, pointing it at Harry.

"Eat slugs!" He cried in a bored tone.

Harry felt something disgusting and slimy sliding up his throat. He dropped on his hands and knees, and threw up.

But instead of lovely sick launching out of his mouth, it was some lovely slugs.

"So you see," Harry retched "I am - _agh_ -incapable of - _bleurgh - _casting any - _ugh - _oh that was a big one! - spells. Observe, _Stupef-uuuuggghhhh_!!!"

The DA members started cheering, finally realising Harry's genius of teaching slug summoning.

"So - _bleurgh - _I think we should - _ighh - _get into groups and - _argh - _make each other puke slugs."

Fred and George looked delighted, the others, not so much.

**Lord Percy's private time skip to the end of the DA lesson.**

"Thanks Harry!"

"Great lesson Harry!"

"_Eugh._"

"It was alright I suppose."

Harry waved the members of DA out, not realising that he still had some slugs in his system, until he threw the biggest one yet up right onto Zacharias Smith's face.

**Lord Percy's time skip to the next DA lesson after a stressful holiday of revision.**

"Hello again," said Harry, facing the members of DA, "I hope you all enjoyed the Easter Holidays, but-"

The door of the Room of Requirement burst open, and a short, pudgy, toad-like woman stood in the doorway, a small group of Slytherins right behind her, smirking, their _Inquisitorial Squad _badges glinting in the torchlight, Malfoy was in the front.

"_Hem hem_," said the pudgy toad, smiling sweetly, "Mr Potter, my office, now, if you will."

**Wow, it is hard making filler chapters making the story bulkier, but oh well. And yes, I know it's short.**

**This chapter's song recommendation: Come Hang Out, by AJR.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	18. OWLs

**Heyyy...again.**

**Ugh! I have so many ideas for the last book, but I have so much to write! By my calculations, the last book, titled (_Piggypimples: The Sea's Revenge_) will be over in 92% of a year.**

**So long! **

**That's what she said.**

Harry sat, scowling, in his seat in Umbridge's office (she didn't know the password to the Headmaster's office), his fists clenched, his eyes fixed on his feet.

He remembered the ancient proverb he'd learnt in Muggle school, _Deny Everything_, and so he would.

"Mr Potter," started Umbridge, her eyes gleaming, like a lion who's found its prey.

"No," said Harry. Percy, who was on his left, sighed, maybe that was too soon?

Umbridge smirked, "Well, you seem to have been hosting an illegal club, and for that, I'll have to expel-"

"It was my idea Miss," said Percy stiffly. Harry was aghast.

"Oh it was your idea," smirked Umbridge, she turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were also there, and smiled sweetly,"Is this true?"

Harry knew immediately that he would not let Percy take the blame, he was barely part of it! He didn't even need DA, he just came "for a laugh". He made eye contact his two best friends, and he knew they were on the same wavelength. Ron nodded, and opened his mouth,

"Yes, Percy was the mastermind behind it all," Hermione gasped and elbowed Ron, who's eyes widened in surprise, "I mean, noooo, Miss, he wasn't. It's-"

"All his fault?" Asked Umbridge, a sickening look of understanding on her face, "Yes dear, I understand how hard it is to tell on your friends, so well done. For that, I will not expel you."

Harry felt a guilty relief.

Umbridge turned to Percy, "And be lucky that you have a relatively clean slate, or else I'd expel you," she smirked, "You look like an athlete Mr Jackson," "Well thank you," "Shut up, you will have no Quidditch for the rest of the year. No viewing, playing, or researching Quidditch, on pain of expulsion."

Percy's eyes widened, and he said, in a bored tone, "Oh no! No Quidditch. You can't do this to me."

Umbridge smiled, looking triumphant, and Harry had to resist the urge to burst out laughing, Percy didn't _care _about Quidditch at all. This was a treat.

"Well," Umbridge smiled, "You'll be going then."

As they were leaving, Percy said loudly, "Wow, it's so much easier to get to the rest of the school from here then Dumbledore's office, don't you agree Harry?" Harry burst out laughing, and he laughed harder when he heard Umbridge slam the door behind them.

**All worship Lord Percy. And this time skip, it's been like 8 weeks, exam time.**

Harry felt a drop of sweat trickle down his neck, and he clutched his hair. He was sitting at a desk, with the first O.W.L paper (charms) in front of him.

All his revision, his months of notes and hard work, flew out of his head. The exam might have started easy, but he had no idea how to answer _Give three reasons why the eruction of the summoning spell can create lachrymal and result in the non-fulfilment of the liturgitation of the cessation_.

Percy had stopped writing long ago, and had used his spare (at least, Harry _hoped _it was spare) parchement as origami, and was creating some...strange shapes (was he making a cotton ball?). Harry idly wondered why Percy, a seventh year, was doing his O.W.Ls, and why he had been with the fifth years, but then he remembered that Percy needed to protect him, which would be much easier if he was in the same year as Harry.

Harry risked a glance to his left, where Ron was, and saw that he looked like he was about to upchuck a bunch of slugs.

Harry flicked his eyes to Hermione, who was scribbling away, her head bent so low it looked like he was asleep, which Harry felt like doing.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, determined to focus.

He bent his head down, and started to write.

**Time skip to the astronomy O.W.L - the last one.**

Harry pointed his telescope at Andromeda, and jotted it's position on his chart, which was a quarter full.

Just as he pointed his telescope to Venus, he caught sight of a figure in the Hogwarts Grounds. Harry turned his telescope to the figure, and saw that it was huge - at least twice the size of a normal man, and there was an equally abnormally huge dog capering around him. The man appeared injured, slowly shuffling towards a hut by the Forbidden Forest.

"Hagrid?!" Cried Harry, forgetting where he was. Hermione gasped, but whether it was because Hagrid was back or Harry had spoke during an exam, Harry wasn't sure.

Professor Tofty scowled, and said to the now muttering students, "Now now students, I understand that this is all very exciting, but please focus on your charts."

With that, the students quietened down, and returned to work.

But Harry was unable to focus, and, as he labelled Venus as Mars, he wondered what Hagrid had been doing the entire year, and why he was limping.

**Royal time skip to the end of the exam.**

"That!" Cried Ron, collapsing into an armchair, "Was the most traumatic experience of my life!"

"Oh don't be silly Ron," said Hermione, "They were fun!" Ron snorted.

Hermione changed the subject, "So you saw Hagrid Harry? That's great, we'll be able to see him tomorrow."

"Yeah," Grinned Ron, "And we'll find out what he's been doing these past 9 months."

"Yes," said Harry, "Yes we will."

**Okay, I know it's a disappointing ending, but eh.**

**This weeks song : Little Talks, by Of Monsters and Men.**

**I might also give you all a WWll fact each chapter, as I'm reading up on WWll.**

**Here it is: The 'Phoney War' was between 3rd September 1939 (when Britain declared war on Germany) and the spring of 1940. It was called the phoney war because, although Britain had declared war on Germany, there were no fights on land, even though Britain had promised Poland military support against Germany, who was invading Poland at the time. But there were still air and sea skirmishes. This occurred because Britain was not prepared for war. Compared to the Luftwaffe (the German Air Force) the RAF was pathetic. And Britain jazz the smallest army between them, France, Germany, and the Soviet Union (who had the biggest army). So Britain tried to stall fighting in order to prepare more.**

**Wow, this is my longest A/N**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace Out.**


	19. Hagrid

**Heyyyy... again.**

**To answer BluePancakes7's question, there will be three books after this. A remake of the Half-Blood Prince, a remake of the Deathly Hallow's, and a remake of the Cursed Child.**

"Hagrid!" Whispered Harry, as he knocked on the half giant's door. He, Ron and Hermione were under the invisibility cloak, as it was 8 p.m, and ickle Harry was not supposed to be out after six.

The old door swung open, and the tall, thick figure of Hagrid stood before them. They took off their cloak.

Hermione gasped, "Hagrid, you look terrible!"

Hagrid grunted, "Good ter see yer too Hermione," his face was barely distinguishable, covered by a bristly beard and a massive ugly bruise. His eyes were also suspiciously moist, and Harry suspected that he had been crying.

"W-what happened?" Asked Ron, "You look like you just played Quidditch!"

"It's er long story," said Hagrid gruffly, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, "And Harry should be back at school, off yer go now."

Harry looked up at Hagrid's stern face (at least, he thought it was stern, it was hard to tell given how messed up his face was), and knew there was no point arguing. "Ok Hagrid."

But as they turned to leave, Hagrid scowled, "Oh alright, I'll tell yer! Come on in now."

**Lord Percy's time skip. Hagrid and Madame Maxine are at the giant's lair.**

"An' then, the giant leader, Fat Bill, they called 'im," "Really?" "No, o' course not, he was called Karkus, an' he hated Yer-Know-Who."

Harry felt hopeful, "Well that's good, isn't it?"

Hagrid snorted, "Naht really, 'e also hated all wizards."

"Oh," said Harry, deflated.

"Anyway, Karkus would not be happy to see two half wizards like me an' O-Olympia, so we followed Dumbledore's advice, great man, by the way, very clever, excellent wizard-"

"But his wizarding skills may be hindered by your nose in his ass," said Harry compulsively, then, realising what he said, felt horrified, "Sorry."

Hermione looked disgusted, but Ron was trying not to laugh, and Hagrid just looked confused, "Er, anyway, we brought Karkus gifts-"

"What sort of gifts?" Asked Hermione, Hagrid scowled in annoyance.

"The gift of no one interrupting him when 'e's speaking!" He said angrily.

"Sorry," said Hermione meekly, "But what sort of gifts could a giant king not have?"

"Food," said Hagrid wisely, having quickly cooled off, "Fancy food is very hard for giants to make, so, on th' first day, Olympia an' I brought Karkus a delicious scallop stew, with diced vegetable soup on th' side, and, fer after's, me famous rock cakes!" Hagrid looked very proud of himself.

"Wow, er, Karkus must have loved that," said Hermione, looking queasy at the thought of Hagrid's rock cakes.

"Oh, he would've," said Hagrid, turning red, or maybe it was just his bruise, "But-er- Olympia an' I got a little peckish, an' it _was _a delicious stew, so..."

"You _ate _the gifts?!" Cried Hermione, "That was very irresponsible Hagrid."

Harry cut in front of Hermione, "How did you appease Karkus now? Some shrimp kebabs? Some wagyu beef?"

"Naw naw, none o' that," said Hagrid, "No waggy beef or...the other one. Me an' Olympia left a rock cake, and we offered _that _ter Karkus."

"He must have been ecstatic to have such a banquet," said Harry drily.

"Oh he _loved _th' cakes," said Hagrid, sitting up a little taller, "In fact, 'e made me 'is personal chef!"

Harry raised his eyebrows. His experiences with Hagrid rock cakes weren't like Karkus's, maybe Hagrid pulled out a family recipe for the king.

Hagrid continued, "So fer months after, I cooked for Karkus, and he grew to trust me, an' therefore he trusted wizards, an' he agreed to fight Yer-Know-Who."

"Oh Hagrid!" Cried Hermione, "That's great!"

Hagrid scowled, "Yeah, it would've been, if it hadn't been for Gurg."

Harry was hoping that Gurg was some bad constipation that Karkus got, and got in such a bad mood about it that he decided to withdraw his agreement, and decided to think about it. Unfortunately, he suspected he wouldn't be so lucky.

"Gurg was this massive giant, almost as large as Karkus, at least 30 feet tall."

"So he's not constipation?" Asked Harry, then realised how weird that sounded, "Never mind, please continue."

Hagrid looked incredibly confused, "Anyway, in th' night, whilst we were asleep, 'e cut off Karkus's head, and became Giant King."

Hermione gasped, "Oh that's awful!"

Hagrid nodded, "An' 'e _hated_ us, and ordered his men to attack us. I barely escaped, but, but they..." Tears started to glisten his eyes, "They killed Olympia." He burst into tears."

"Oh- Oh Hagrid!" Cried Hermione, bursting into tears as well, and reaching up to hug Hagrid's thick neck.

As Hagrid sobbed, he pulled the three into a back breaking hug, and Harry squeaked, but he didn't mind.

That would make a great heartwarming moment, but suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all scrambled under the cloak, and Hagrid started clattering some of his pots and pans, and yelled, "Jus' a minute!"

When he saw that the three were safely hidden, he opened the door, and a voice yelled out.

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

**I think I nailed Hagrid's accent, don't you?**

**This chapter's song: Bang! By AJR.**

**Did I already do that? I don't think so.**

**This chapter's WWll fact: The Frenchman Charles de Gaulle was sentenced you death in 1940, but he ended up as President of France in 1945 and 1958.**

**Lengthier version: In June 1940, the Germans entered Paris, and set up a puppet government, called Vichy France. Charles de Gaulle was a junior general (who was, in fact, in charge of the only French vs German battle that resulted in a German retreat when Germany was attacking France), who opposed the Vichy France, and escaped to England, as did so many anti-Nazi politicians from other countries. He was leader of the French resistance. Due to his absence, France sentenced him to death. Charles de Gaulle had the support of Britain and the US, as they also wanted to free France, but he wasn't very influential, as Britain and the US didn't think that he cared about defeating Hitler, just about freeing France. Anyway, in 1943, the tide of the war changed blah blah blah de Gaulle entered Paris with US troops and the 2nd Armoured division in 1944. He was a national hero in France, and became head of the postwar government, but resigned in 1946. He became President of France again in 1958, but stepped down in 1969 to live a quiet life.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	20. OhNo

**Heyyyy...again.**

**I should probably have said this earlier, but I really appreciate every review I get, not many people have said those things to me before (which I really don't mind, but it is nice to hear), and I just really like it whenever I get a review. So thank you so much, everyone who's reviewed.**

**Also, to answer a couple of questions: Percy slept in the lake in the last book, but now he's a Hogwarts student, he sleeps in the same dorm as Harry, as he needs to protect him.**

**I update roughly once a week, but no set day.**

"Hagrid!" Shouted Hermione, surging forwards in a panic, as the half-giant collapsed to the ground.

Harry felt a huge wave of relief when he saw Hagrid's hand twitch, and he rushed to his side, shedding his invisibility cloak.

The same voice who cried the curse shouted, "He's still alive!"

A familiar, high voice screamed, "Well then, kill that half breed!"

"Right away ma'am," said the voice.

Harry couldn't let that happen, so he whipped out his wand, and pointed it in the direction of the voice, "_Stupefy!_"

The spell must have missed, as Mystery Voice yelled, "There's someone in there!"

The high voice replied, "No witnesses! Burn that peasant hut to the ground!"

"But...Dolores-" Stammered out Mystery Voice.

"That's Lady Umbridge to you!" Cried out the high voice, which sounded a little insane.

_Umbridge. _Harry knew she hated half-breeds, but not enough to _kill_ a student. He suddenly felt panicked when he realised that _he _was the student that was going to be killed. Oh, and Ron and Hermione. But _Harry_ was going to die.

He grabbed his two best friends and threw them out of the open door, leapt behind Hagrid, and tried his hardest to roll him out of the hut.

"There's a girl and a boy right in front of me, Lady Umbridge," cried out mystery voice.

Ah crud, Harry had just chucked his two best friends out in front of a potential murderer.

Whoops.

"Well, kill them Yaxley!" Shouted Umbridge.

Harry jumped over Hagrid's unconscious body, and burst out of the hut's door, only to face 'Yaxley', a short man with a tumbling beard, who had his wand pointed at Ron and Hermione, who were inching backwards, terrified looks on their faces.

"_Avada_-"

"_Petrificus totalus!_" Screamed Harry, and Yaxley stiffened, collapsing to the ground.

"No!" Cried Umbridge, "Useless man! _Incendio_!"

Harry watched in shocked horror as flames erupted inside of Hagrid's hut, he remained stock still, which lost him precious seconds.

The fire was now engulfing the hut.

"Hagrid!" Shouted Harry, "_Aquamenti_!" Ron and Hermione repeated his cry, and three jets of water erupted from the three wands, but it was useless, the fire was too strong.

Harry wished he knew a potion of fire resistance, so he could run into the flames without getting injured.

Now he will get injured, dammit.

With Ron and Hermione right behind him, Harry hurtled into the enflamed hut, and saw Hagrid, his face blackened with soot, flames all around him.

"Hagrid!" Shouted Harry, rushing to the half-giant's side.

"Mmm...no Buckbeak, those rock cakes aren't fer yer..." Murmured Hagrid in his unconscious state, "They're for Olympia...Olympia! Why did yer die!" He shouted, clinging onto Harry's robes.

"Wake up Hagrid!" Shouted Harry, the flames were now nearly reaching them.

"Why did yer leave me Olympia!" Cried Hagrid, "Sweet Olympia! Curse yer, fate!"

"Yes, Hagrid, it's very sad, but you have to get out!" Screamed Hermione.

"Is that roast pork I smell?" Asked Ron. And, indeed, the meat hanging from Hagrid's roof had been cooked to perfection, due to the flames.

"Shut up Ron!" Shouted Harry, "This isn't the time!"

"It's always the time for roast pork!"

The flames had now reached Hermione, who squealed when she saw that her robes were on fire, "_Aquamenti!_" She screamed, dowsing the flames, for now.

"Olympia!" Shouted Hagrid.

"Wake up!" Screamed Harry.

"Ron's on fire!" Shrieked Hermione.

"Mmmm...pork..." said Ron, drooling a little.

At that moment, all seemed lost,the flames were licking at the tips of Harry's toes, a half-ton half-giant was unconscious, and Ron's clothes were ablaze, so he clawed them off, leaving little to the imagination, unfortunately.

Just as the flames had set Harry's really nice, very _expensive_ shoes ablaze, the entire hut was dowsed by what looked like half the lake.

Coughing and spluttering, Harry turned around, to see Percy, with his hands stretched upwards, his face beaded with sweat, his eyes screwed shut in concentration.

Harry watched, gobsmacked, as Percy moved the water back in the direction of the lake, and elegantly dumped it in.

Only then did Percy relax.

"You guys bloody scared me," he said, laughing, until his eyes widened in horror, "Oh no, oh no oh no oh no."

"What?" Asked Harry, a but shaken.

"I'm turning..._British,_" said Percy with a shudder.

"So?" Asked Harry, confused.

"Soon I'll be saying rubbish like 'Good golly gosh you little bugger, care for some earl gray?'"

"Um, actually, it's Earl Grey," said Harry, annoyed at Percy's blatant disrespect of the classy British drink selection.

Percy ran a hand through his hair, clearly very stressed, "Never mind, I-" he broke off when he saw Ron in nothing but his Chudley Cannons pants, and raised his eyebrows, before bursting into laughter, "That's a good look for you Ron, you should go to dinner in that, you'd get all the girls."

Ron gave him a glare, and tried to cover himself with his charred robes.

Percy sniffed the air, "Is that pork I smell?"

**Lord Percy's slightly British time skip.**

Harry reached his long, pale fingers towards the doorknob, prepared for another night of disappointment, but, to his surprise, the door swung open.

He was met by another twelve doors, and he automatically went for one of them, which brought him to another corridor.

Harry's excitement levels were through the roof, finally, after all these months, he could find out what was being hidden.

Although the corridor seemed long, in a few seconds, Harry was in an enormous room, he couldn't see the walls, and there were seemingly limitless shelves, all filled with glass balls.

Harry glided down one of the aisles - number 93 maybe? - and came to a stop at two figures.

One was tall and skinny, unnaturally pale, and looked a little like an egg. Voldemort.

The other man was lying on the floor, panting in extreme pain, whilst Voldemort laughed above him.

The man raised his head, and his eyes widened, "H-Harry?"

Harry wanted to speak, he want to scream Sirius's name, and let him know that he would come and save him.

Voldemort let out a high pitched laugh, and screamed, "_Crucio!_"

Harry shot upwards, his face beaded with sweat, clutching his bedsheets around him.

He looked at his watch, saw that it was time for breakfast, and immediately leapt up and dashed out the room.

He pelted into the Great Hall, and saw Ron, Hermione, and Percy, all sitting in the Gryffindor table, with plates of food in front of them.

"Want an English breakfast, Percy?" Asked Hermione, sweetly, pushing a plate of toast, bacon, sausage, beans, and egg towards him.

"_Get that away from me!_" Shrieked Percy, leaping up from his chair, and returning, cautiously, to his big stack of blue pancakes.

Harry came to a halt right by them, "Breakfast's over," he said.

"_What?!_" Asked Percy, looking horrified.

"Sirius has been captured by Voldemort," said Harry quickly, "Now let's go!"

The others looked sceptical, and Percy opened his mouth, "Are you sure Harry? I mean, these are very nice pancakes- I mean, these are very stressful times, what with Voldemort back and all, and _how _could you know that-"

Harry scowled, "You don't understand! I had this dream-"

When Percy heard that Harry had a dream, he leapt up, "No time for food, let's go!"

He grabbed Hermione and Ron, and, ignoring the stares of the other students, walked briskly out the Great Hall, Harry struggling to keep up.

The moment Harry stepped out, a hand grabbed his wrist, the hand belonged to a toad.

"Mr Potter," said Professor Umbridge, smiling sweetly, "Come to my office, along with all your friends."

"No thanks," said Harry, struggling to get free from Umbridge. Percy had stopped by now, and Ron and Hermione had wriggled free from him.

"That wasn't a question," she said, "_Incarcerous!_"

Ron, Percy and Hermione all whipped their wands out when they saw what Umbridge had done to Percy, but Umbridge, far more skilled than they previously though, had them all tied up in no time.

**Lord Percy's sad time skip.**

Once again, Harry found himself in Umbridge's office, his friends all around him, and Umbridge smiling triumphantly.

"Mr Potter, Mr Jackson, Mr Weasley, and Miss Granger," she started, the four remained silent.

"You have all been absolutely awful students," she continued.

"A disgrace to the school, obsolete, harrowing, appalling, ghastly, repulsive, disgusting, and repellent children," she smiled sweetly.

Hermione was sobbing, she had never been told off so badly; Ron's ears were red, but whether he was embarrassed or angry, Harry couldn't tell; and Percy looked absolutely fine, like he heard this on a daily basis.

As for Harry, he was fuming, how _dare _Umbridbe call _them _disgusting when she looked like a warty toad? How-

"As a punishment for your awful behaviour," she smiled even more sweetly, "You are all expelled."

**Isn't that dramatic? One of my longest chapters yet!**

**This chapter's song: Migraine, by Twenty One Pilots.**

**I'm gonna stop doing the facts, they take up too much space.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	21. ADisappointinglyShortChapter

**Heyyyy...again.**

**I think the start of book one was a bit much, wasn't it? Man, I was just Percy's so hot. Percy makes girls swoon. Percy is an unattainable magician. It was a bit much. Now he's pretty attractive, but is still pretty fit because demigods. I mean, he's good looking, but not as much as I was making out him to be.**

**WARNING: AWFUL PUNS VERY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. EVEN WORSE THAT POOPYHEAD. GO FORTH AND SUFFER!**

Harry trudged miserably along the path to the gates, Ron, Hermione, and Percy behind him, although Percy didn't look that sad.

Snape strode behind them, his back straight, his black robes billowing behind him, Harry had never seen him so happy.

"Uh... Snape," said Percy, looking confused, "Are you okay??"

Snape scowled, "Why, Mr Jackson?"

"There's this weird thing on your face, it seems to have replaced your mouth, maybe you should see Madame Pompfrey-"

"That's a smile, you idiot!" Snarled Snape, "But you've never seen it before because I have to teach you and your fellow band of useless sacks of meat and skin!"

"Phew," said Percy, looking relieved, "Snape's back! No need to go to St Mungo's!"

Snape growler silently to himself.

Harry just kept on scraping his feet against the ground, Ron and Hermione following suit.

Percy pointed to the lake, which was down at the bottom of a steep cliff from the path they were walking on.

"Oh look!" He cried, "An ugly old hag! Look Snape, she looks perfect for you!"

Snape turned to the lake, looking hopeful, but, seeing it devoid of ugly hag, turned back to Percy, ready to chew him out.

But, as he was turning, Percy gave him a heavy shove, and Snape went tumbling into the lake, entering with a splash.

"Oh my God!" Shrieked Hermione, "Percy!"

"He'll be fine," said Percy, brushing Hermione's protests off.

"B-but falling from that height," stammered Hermione, "He'll have died!"

"Hermione," insisted Percy, "He's _fine_."

Sure enough, Harry saw a speck clamber out of the lake, and start clambering up the cliff face.

"How..." said Harry, lost for words.

"Never mind," said Percy, "We need to run!"

And with that, they pelted off into the forbidden forest.

"Well," said Percy, panting a little, "How do expect to get to Sirius, Harry?"

Harry had no idea, "I have no idea," he wheezed.

"You can't be sirius," exclaimed Ron, "What now?"

Harry clutched his hair, "I dunno, I guess we cry?"

And with that, he sat down and had a good old sob.

Not really, instead a dead horse started nibbling his ear.

"Argh!" Harry cried, leaping what felt like ten metres in the air, "What the hell _is that?" _

He looked at Hermione for an answer, but she just looked confused, "What's what Harry?" She asked.

"You don't see them?" Asked Harry.

"See what mate?" Asked Ron, looking at Harry like he was insane.

"Percy?" Asked Harry, turning to him.

"Argh!" Cried Percy, who was being swarmed by dead horses, who were going insane, bucking and neighing, and nibbling Percy like dead horses had never nibbles before, "Argh! Shit! Leave me..." Harry saw Percy arm waving desperately, before it disappeared in the sea of mouldy dead horses.

"No!" Shouted Harry, falling to his knees, "Percy!"

He made for Dead Horse Sea, but Ron and Hermione held him back.

"Harry!" Shouted Ron, "What the bloody hell are you doing? Percy's fine, he's just lying on the ground..."

"What's wrong Harry?" Asked Hermione, "You're scaring us."

Just then, a figure erupted from the sea of dead horse, looking imposing and dangerous, it couldn't be-

"Percy?" Asked Harry, blown away in disbelief.

"Stop calling me that," muttered Percy, "No I don't have any mouldy doughnuts, how do you even know what doughnuts are?"

"Percy?" Asked Harry, now very confused.

"Oh," said Percy, looking surprised, like he'd forgotten they were there, "Hi guys, look, I've got us a ride to Sirius.

"I always knew dark haired, green eyed blokes who look so alike it can't be a coincidence and must be a big part of the plot were loony," muttered Ron.

"No!" Said Percy, "You can't see these mouldy dead Pegasi because they're invisible to you, they're-"

"Thestrals," came a voice from the forest, and, before the four could draw they're wands, Luna, Neville, and Ginny emerges from the trees.

"Where here to help," said Ginny, "Saddle up."

**Okay, I know it's annoyingly short, and it's been a while but I couldn't be bothered to do any more, and damn if that ending wasn't lovely and dramatic.**

**Cori Amira asked me to put their name here, but I went above and beyond and wrote a heartwarming poem. I'm amazing:**

**"Cori Arima wanted me to update more**

**Often, even though I'm **

**Really lazy.**

**I updated anyway.**

**And it was a **

**Really disappointing chapter.**

**I'm sorry.**

**My condolences.**

**Ah well."**

**See? It's an acrostic! I'm so dedicated. And all I ask for is your soul and freedom.**

**This chapter's song: Natural, by Imagine Dragons.**

**All bow Percy.**

**Peace out.**


	22. Thesrals

**Heyyyy...again**

**WaterWolf16, I dunno if I'll add any Nico, as I'm not really planning on adding any other demigods, even though I said I was going to in a previous chapter.**

**Sorry.**

Harry was sad, very sad.

His butt hurt, and his eyes were stinging from the cold air whipping his face.

But at least he could see the Thestrals, after all, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all had their faces frozen in terror, as the Thestrals were invisible to them.

Ron was still screaming, Hermione was still screaming, Ginny was still screaming, and Neville was asleep.

Harry glanced behind him, checking on Neville and Luna, who were fine.

Percy glided up beside him, "Hey Harry."

"Hey Percy," replied Harry, trying to convey the fact that he was a little busy being bullied by the wind to talk.

"So," said Percy, completely ignoring Harry's obvious signs (such as the middle finger) and continuing to talk, "When this war is over, what do you think you'll do for a living?"

Harry retracted his finger in shock, "W-what?" He stammered, "What war?"

Percy gave Harry a _duh_ look, "What d'you mean, 'What war?' The war that's going to happen? The war against Humpty?"

"Oh," said Harry, "How very silly of me to hope that he'd be killed by some aurors and other adult wizards, not kids who have not even had sex yet, oh how I feel like a plonker now."

"That's not true," said Percy, and, seeing Harry throw him a confused look, continued, "The sex thing? I mean, have you _seen_ the looks between Dumbledore and McGonagoll? I'm telling you, the moment the kids are asleep-"

"Stop!" Shouted Harry, shutting his eyes as if that would block the image from getting into his head, which it didn't, "That's not the point. The point is that we're kids, and kids should never fight in a war."

Percy suddenly looked sad, "Speak for yourself."

"Huh?" Asked Harry, but before Percy could elaborate - if he would - there was a scream from behind him.

Turning around, Harry saw, in horrified fascination, the limp body of Neville Longbottom slide off its Thestral and hurdle uncontrollably to the ground miles below.

**Yeah yeah it's short, but I'm a disappointing author, so that's my excuse.**

**This chapter's song: Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da by The Beatles.**

**All bow to Percy.**

**Peace out.**


End file.
